The Torn Canvas 引き裂かれたキャンバス
by shuusetsu
Summary: A prince from a painting came out alive, capturing Kisa's heart. But this prince is only aiming to kill him for the past they shared thousands of years ago Kisa could no longer remember. Can't Kisa's feelings change the hatred Yukina feels towards him...?
1. Chapter 1

"I have no one to blame. I brought this upon myself. This is the sure end for someone who falls only for physical appearances..." Kisa exhaled, the misty air fogging his eyes, head and his cold heart.

* * *

** The Torn Canvas**

* * *

Kisa Shouta, a person whose only striking characteristic was his very young appearance despite his age almost crawled his way out of a motel. With his aching limbs, his sore eyes from crying and his croaky voice from screaming, in that cold winter, everyone just passed by the almost dead man.

January, he met a man. Tall, well-built, a government employee, mild mannered. That was before Kisa broke the news that he was just going for a physical relationship and that everything was over between them. Like a time bomb, the man exploded and hurt Kisa.

"If we're ending our one week relationship, then I'd better take you, a year's worth!"

And true to his word, the once mild mannered guy violated Kisa over and over and over again, and left him without a goodbye.

* * *

With delicate hands, he pulled his hood trying to hide his face from the world as he made his way into the after-work rush hour. He walked limply, for all sorts of reasons and tried to stay on the very corners of the streets. Sniffing the cold air that numbed his entire being, he collided into a young girl.

"Oww-" The girl exlaimed massaging his bottom and then started grabbing her scattered belongings.

Kisa's hood fell off but he didn't care. How could he possibly knock over a girl as little as this?

"Are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere?" He asked, helping the girl to stand up and picking up pieces of papers at the same time.

The young girl's huge brown eyes stared at the bluish marks under Kisa's left eye for a moment and then frowned, suddenly refusing Kisa's help.

"I'm okay, nii-san. Don't worry," she said after finally placing the papers back into her paper bag.

Staring into one of the papers sticking out from the paper bag, Kisa pulled his hood back on his head and knelt before the girl. "The paper said, museum clean-up? Are you one of those volunteers?"

The girl lit up and pulled the paper out of the paper bag. "Eh~ Yes I am a volunteer, we cleaned the hallways and the garden but we're not allowed to touch the paintings though."

"Can I join?"

"No." The girl answered right away. "No because the clean-up drive finished today. Oh yeah, but nii-san, here..." the girl started going through the paper mess in the bag and pulled a crampled one.

Curiousity hiking, Kisa took the extended paper designed to be an old parchment and read it out loud. "'Voucher: 50% discount'...you're giving this to me?"

Nodding, which sent her pigtails swaying, the girl stood on her toes and smiled. "Yup! They're still open today nii-san. But they're very old paintings and not the popular ones. The teacher told us they're selling those stuff stuck in the basement of the museum. Instead of rotting there, the paintings would be happier to get a caring owner. The funds will go to the renovation of our school so please do buy something okay?!"

After giving the voucher, the girl ran away and disappeared in the sea of men and women in business attires. They were almost a group of people wearing black and in Kisa's eyes, they looked like they were mourning. Every one of them. Perhaps for him?

* * *

It took Kisa no less than 30 minutes of walking to reach the state museum. It was about closing time when he arrived and the stuff for display on the museum grounds were being hauled back into the basement. Sighing out his lucklessness at everything, he ran his eyes at the vases and other stuff that were still there.

"Hmm...they're...old..." he told himself as he scrutinized the small framed paintings lying on the white table.

"Hello! Found something good to buy?"

"AH!" Kisa almost lost his balance when, out of nowhere, a high school boy popped suddenly in front of him.

Scratching his messy head, the boy bowed his head in apology. "Uwah-I am so sorry to have surprised you like that!"

"Ahaha-it's alright..." Kisa replied, embarrassed at thinking how stupid must be the face he pulled on at that time.

"They're all nice...but...they're quiet expensive..." Kisa started as he looked back at the paintings. Despite the voucher, he'd be broke if he purchased one.

The boy looked down at the paintings and smiled knowingly. "Well, although they're not popular, and not made by famous painters, their nicely done. And they have endured a lot to stay intact till these years, so I guess, their price isn't that bad right? And the sales will be for a cause too."

Kisa felt his face grow hot. The kid sounded more mature than he was it was embarrassing. "Eh~ I really would like to buy something but do you have something...cheaper?"

"Hmm...cheaper huh?" The kid repeated, closing his eyes as if rammaging his brains. He then bended and pulled a huge box and placed it on the empty part of the table. "Here, these are cheaper...but...they're damaged paintings though. I didn't think someone would like to buy something damaged so we didn't put it on display."

"Can I look into them?"

"Sure, go ahead!"

Kisa stared first at the dusty box. When he opened it, he was welcomed by rolled canvases tied by strings, ribbons or anything. It was clearly a collection of dump. Obviously, the paintings inside were not taken care of as it was rolled just like that, completely forgotten by the people and time.

He slowly took one rolled canvas and caught a whiff of old paint in the air. Pulling the silver string, he gently unrolled the thick fabric and was mesmirized by what he saw. It was a view of the old capital of Japan, Kyoto in all of its glory.

"This is...good..." Kisa suddenly got excited and started looking deeper into the box. He was no art genius, but he knew he liked something that stirs the heart. He pulled three rolled canvas out and the boy just watched Kisa, waiting. Just when he was about to open one, he noticed a canvas in the very corner of the box, with a rubber in it. For some reason, he left the first paintings he grabbed and took that one painting.

"Ah-Sir, that one is no good..." The boy interrupted.

"No good?"

Kisa took the rubber off and slowly flattened the painting. And when he finally got to take a full look of the painting, Kisa was speechless. If he was going to describe how a prince should look like, 'this' was definitely it.

The painting was very old, the picture wasn't very clear anymore, despite that, Kisa didn't fail to notice the easy smile of the dark-blonde guy who was half naked on a sheet of blue smiling towards something. His hair, his eyes, his face, everything seemed so real in Kisa's eyes. And he couldn't help but smile himself. The painting seemed to be alive.

He ran his small hands softly on the fabric and then, his brows furrowed. The guy on the painting was holding on to something. He could see a hand in between the smiling guy's fingers. His eyes were even smiling towards the one who owns the hand, but that was a dead end. The painting had burn marks on where the continuation of the painting should have been.

"Why..."

"That's why it's no good Sir. That painting, no one knew how it got into a state like that, but the old clerk said they call it 'the torn canvas'," the boy explained, as he rolled back the other paintings.

"'Torn?' But this is burnt..."

"Ah-there were some stories that when that painting arrived here, the other half was already torn, by who we don't know, some said the painter was that guy on the painting himself and he torn the painting because his lover betrayed him, you know...all those sort of rumors that became a legend. It just had those burn marks because of the fire last year but thankfully it wasn't that bad."

Feeling sad at how such a lovely painting got into that condition, Kisa ran his thumb on the cheek of the man in the painting. "You look so happy...I wonder...for whom your smile was for...I wish the painting wasn't torn into half..." Kisa thought to himself. Then, smiling confidently which he hadn't done in a while, he faced the baffled boy. "I'm going to buy this."

"HAH?"

* * *

Kisa breath of calmness and relief after he have hung the fabric on the wall of his room using a shirt hanger.

"Just bear with it for a while...I'll buy you a frame on the next pay out." Kisa said towards the old style painting on a fabric, beaming.

After taking a bath, he dropped dead on his bed. Tired body and soul, he fastly dozed off.

"Hmm?" Kisa rolled on his bed, feeling another presence in his flat.

"What?!" He gasped when he heard a vase crash down on the floor. Slowly leaving his bed, he took small steps out of his room and tiptoed towards his small living room. He could hear his own heart drumming violently inside his chest. Sweat forming on his forehead that ran down to the tip of his nose, he inhaled. There was nothing good in his flat for a thief to take a liking of. He didn't have much money either. He was a complete commoner. "My god...what if it's a serial killer...?"

Kisa forced his trembling legs to inch forward only to feel his body violently leave the floor. His eyes grew wide, trying to see into the dim room. He tried to scream, but no sound came from his mouth as he felt a cold hand press hard on his mouth. He struggled, but the strenght of his assaulter was great, he was no match.

A violent thud filled the room, as Kisa fell on his stomach.

"Wh-what do you want!?" Kisa croaked, feeling his arms would leave its sockets as they were being pinned by his assaulter.

"I see, you still forget to lock your flat as if you're inviting someone to come in..." the husky voice whispered into the back of Kisa's ears.

Gulping, Kisa tried to turn his head as much as he can to confirm what he was thinking.

"Rio?"

A chuckle. "Bingo."

With all his might, Kisa turned his body so that he could glare into his boyfriend's eyes. Ex-boyfriend. Not that it helped a lot since it was really quiet dim.

"What the fuck are you playing at! Get off me!"

"Eh-we just broke up a couple of days ago and you already treat me this cold?" Rio mumbled, slowly running his hands on Kisa's chest.

Not in the mood for it, specially with this crazy man, Kisa slapped the hands as he tried to scramble away. But Rio was just too fast, he grabbed Kisa's dark locks and slammed him back against the floor.

"Just comfort me for tonight, alright? I'll feel good, you'll feel good, we get an equal deal of the bargain..."

"Don-t joke with~ah!"

Rio just gave Kisa a hard blow on the side of his body that left Kisa numb and gasping for air. The pain was enough to blur Kisa's head, he could only whimper.

"Now, now...just be a good neko and pleasure me like you always do..." excitedly, Rio had pulled Kisa's pyjamas off so easily and was feeling Kisa's pert butt cheeks with his hands.

"Stop-"

Despite Kisa's struggles, Rio was deaf and already succumbing to his own world of lusts. And no matter how strong Kisa tried to be, he just couldn't. Not when his arms and legs were still sore and aching from his last encounter with his closet iron-handed ex boyfriend. He could only shed tears.

"Shi-t...why...do I always end up with assholes..." Kisa asked inside his brain, although he knew the answer very well.

Just when Kisa was about to accept his fate that night; that he was going to be a sex toy of his ex boyfriend yet again, he suddenly felt the weight of Rio leaving him and a nauseating crack of bones filled his ears.

"Grah-what the hell...?" Rio grunted, trying to stand but failed.

Kisa turned to look at the sound and saw Rio lying on the floor, pain painted all over his face.

"What happened...?"

"When someone says 'stop', you have to stop, you ingrate."

"Huh?" Kisa froze. "There's another one?" Slowly, Kisa brought his eyes towards the deep voice he heard for the first time. And although it was dim, he didn't fail to recognize the man standing naked, with all the pride of a royalty in front of him.

The guy in the painting.

* * *

**hello! hisashiburi minna!**

well...i;ve been very busy..hahaha...and uhm...the last chappy of break down is still waiting to be finished...^^

but i was really being bothered by this story so i have to post it first. it may look like very common...but i hope you give the upcoming chapters a try.^^

thanks for dropping by!

-shuusetsu (春mao)


	2. the legend

**The Legend**

* * *

"Shit! As expected from a whore like you! Remember this day Shouta!"

And like a dog with its tail in between its legs, the ferocious beast scrambled to his feet away from Kisa's flat.

It was dark, it was cold and it seemed like the cold already seeped inside Kisa's body that he was rendered motionless as he stared into the naked man before him. His breath and voice got stuck in his throat, and when he tried to utter a word, only an embarrassing squeak escaped his dry mouth.

Slowly, Kisa stood. His hands feeling the walls for support.

"The switch...the switch..." Kisa chanted while slowly inching towards the light switch near the door.

When finally his sweaty hands felt the thing he was looking for, he pressed on it, and he had to close his eyes when the sudden light stung his eyes. But when he opened his eyes, he closed them hard once more.

"My god...this...this is a dream right? What the hell is going on..." he prayed that once he open his eyes, the stunning apparition in front of him will be gone.

"Ah!" Kisa gasped, pushing himself against the wall since the guy in the painting was now standing, leaning in on him. He had never felt so nervous in his entire life, looking back at that princely face, and no matter how much he averted his eyes, he could still make out how perfectly scuplted the body in front of him was.

"I can't believe this. This is ridiculous. How can a man be pinned down by another man without putting up a fight?" The mysterious voice scolded. "And you, for how long will you put up this surprised act, huh? I am not a dream, nor an apparation. Check for yourself."

Kisa felt a warm hand touch his hand. Without him knowing, the guy had already placed Kisa's trembling hand against his chest.

"Wha-what's this..." Kisa stared hard at the chest. He thought he would only feel coldness against the skin. But to his surprise, he felt warmth and a steady rythm of a heartbeat.

Pulling back his hand, Kisa threw a confused look at the guy. "Who are you? Wh~what are you?"

Silence filled the room as the two men stared into each others eyes. However, Kisa was all shaking. A complete opposite of the cool and collected stranger with a smug look on his face.

"Yukina..." the voice mumbled as if he himself wasn't sure if telling the guy in front of him was okay. "My name is Yukina...Kou..."

"Yukina...?" Kisa repeated, not knowing that he already was biting down on his own lower lip. He was sure he have heard that name from somewhere. But he just couldn't remember when and where. "S-stay there! Don't go anywhere!" Kisa staggeringly directed.

As if he would get electricuted just from Yukina's presence, Kisa slowly move away from the wall and almost jumped and ran his way back into his room. He swiftly grabbed the old fabric off the shirt hanger and glared at it for the longest time he could remember.

"None...none...there's no one in here..."

Although his shaking already subsided, his brain could still not process how a character from a painting leapt out of it. But thinking if this mystical thing didn't arrive, god knows what would have happened to him, considering that his previous injuries have not yet healed.

"Kisa...calm down...just...think things through..." Kisa moved his head around his messy room. "First, that thing can't be naked the whole time..."

He rummaged into his closet, but being born with a small built, he knew he wouldn't find anything that would fit Yukina. Sighing in defeat, Kisa pulled a thick blanket and slowly returned to the place where he left the princely apparition.

Yukina was standing mightily, with not a hint of shame being naked in front of somebody else. He just waited like a real prince waiting to be served.

Looking at his side, Kisa extended the blanket to Yukina.

Raising an eyebrow, Yukina took the blanket and stared at it questioningly before looking at the flushed man in front of him.

"What the hell do I do with this?"

"I don't have anything for you to wear...so...just settle with that for the time being..."

"What? I'm going to spend the night wrapped in this filthy thing?"

At the mocking, Kisa raised his head and frowned at the tactless guy before him. "Excuse me but that isn't 'filthy'. And if you don't want to freeze, then use that. As if you have a choice."

Yukina stepped closer at the short guy with eyes intense enough to burn a hole. "How dare you talk back to me?"

Deep inside, Kisa was trembling. He didn't know this guy. And he looked way stronger than he was. If suddenly the guy decided to strangle him, he wouldn't be able to fight back. He threw Rio away with just a single sweep. He'd be in great danger. But he was sleepy, tired and sad and confused that he didn't care anymore if his knees were trembling.

"I am grateful to you for helping me out earlier, but I am not your servant," he hissed, ignoring the butterflies in his stomach.

For a moment, Yukina looked surprised but he gathered his composure once again and slowly draped the blanket around his broad shoulders.

Relieved, Kisa moved back to his room with Yukina following him. When he sat on his small bed to sleep, he was surprised to see the unwanted visitor do the same.

"Excuse me? What are you doing?"

"I am going to take my rest now."

Kisa laughed forcedfully. He tapped his bed to make his point. "This is MY bed. So please kindly use the sofa outside."

"Huh? ME? Sleep outside? That's absurd."

Losing his patience, Kisa raised his voice a little. "You know, I don't know what the hell you are but can you stop acting like a spoiled prince for crying outloud? You are spending the night in here...so you abide by my rules."

"Rules don't apply to me though." Yukina plopped down the bed, almost occupying the entire space before smirking at Kisa. "I already put up with this rag being wrapped on my body, now the bed is a completely different matter."

Speechless, Kisa stared at the now sleeping face before him. "Oi!"

Kisa shook Yukina, trying to push the guy off the bed. In the process, he couldn't help himself noticing how long those eyelashes were. At the lips which were a little parted as he started snoozing off. Pissed at how he was appreciating the perfectness of the guy in the painting he bought that for some reason came to life, Kisa slowly left the bed and made his way to the sofa.

The feeling of having someone other than himself was nerve racking. All his relationships went out pretty well in the beginning. But always ended in the worst possible ways. And he grew somehow afraid of it. He always made sure he have sex with them in a hotel, motel, their place, wherever, as long as it was not in his flat. But Yukina, the guy acting like a spoiled prince barged in in his circle, and he was totally thrown out of his pace.

Sitting on the sofa with his knees pulled to his chest, Kisa noticed the only picture of him and Rio on the table top. It was taken when they went to a certain festival. He wasn't intending on putting it on display, but somehow forgot that he placed the photo on that table. With trembling fingers, he took it and looked at it with a blank expression.

A soft chuckle surprised Kisa. He had to put his cold hand on his mouth. "Wh-at is wrong with me..." he asked hismelf. Surprised at the eerie laugh that escaped his mouth. "A shit-sleepiness come to me..."

Staring blankly at the ceiling, he then decided to just do some work rather than waiting for sleepiness that won't come anymore for sure. He grabbed the bag he threw on his kitchen table and poured himself a cup of coffee. Frowning at the manuscript, he then remembered trying to persuade his author to change the setting of her new shoujo manga story.

* * *

_"Sensei-teenage girls nowadays are into school type love stories since they can relate more..."_

_The petite woman with brown hair bit her bottom lip, looking at her sketches. "But Kisa-san, school life romance is already way too common. A little rewind to our history added with a sprinkle of fantasy would be refreshing."_

_Sighing at the stubborness of his talented author, Kisa rested his head against his hand while flipping through the blank papers on the table._

_"Okay, look Kisa-san...you know in the Edo period or the Tokugawa Era where the Shoguns and the Emperor ruled the entire Japan right? The most popular is the Tokugawa Clan..."_

_"Yes...yes...I know that...it was taught ever since gradeschool history..."_

_'Exactly! But don't you know that there is another clan reigning that time? The two clan clashed, claiming the power all over Japan. And according to legends, the prince of the rival clan was so handsome and perfect, and everyone fell in love with him right away...except the heir of the Tokugawa-clan._

_Kisa looked at his excited author, a bit interested. "Where did you get that? I never heard of such a thing."_

_The woman stood and walked around the cramped working area, her artistic instincs running like crazy. "That is because they came from a very very old legend, my grandmother told me years ago."_

_"You know, Kisa-san, if you're thinking I would write something like Romeo and Juliet...you're wrong..." she grinned knowingly. "The Yukina-clan, I wanted to make them alive in my next project. So just please agree with this one! Ne...? Ne...?"_

_Kisa raised an eyebrow. "Yukina-clan? You already came up with the rival clan's name huh?"_

_"I didn't make that up! It was my grandmother who told me that despite not being recorded in historical records, Tokugawa-clan, fought against the Yukina-clan. And the Yukina prince...he was a great painter..."_

_The author slammed her fists on the table and leaned closer to Kisa from the other side of her cluttered work desk. "What's more intriguing is that one of the Tokugawa-clan's heirs became close with the prince. But it was that same person who killed the Yukina-prince..." the author's eyes turned into slits. "And my grandmother said that the Yukina clan's prince is still burning with rage even in after life towards that heir. He swore he'd kill every descendant of that traitor, those with striking physical resemblance with the traitor, he would curse them and deliver them to their deaths. That would be perfect for my story! My grandmother didn't mention the heir to be a girl or a guy so I'd make that one to be a girl. The prince will kill the princess due to rage, burrying his love for her...I want to make it tragic this time Kisa-san...please?"_

_"Eh..." Kisa commented, imagining a quiet interesting story coming from his author. "A prince from an unheard clan huh?"_

* * *

Almost choking with his own coffee, Kisa coughed, with his eyes starting to get teary at the itchy sensation in his throat. He threw his gaze to his room's direction with a stunned look on his face. He was remembering the certain guy who jumped out of the painting alive.

"Yukina-clan...Yukina Kou, a prince, painter...is it possible that the legend...is true?"

Looking at the manuscript, he then closed his eyes. "Kill every descendant, huh? Is that why that thing came out alive from the painting?" He suddenly felt chills ran down his body. "Ah-well...I didn't come from the Tokugawa bloodline anyways...why would I be afraid...that freak even helped me out earlier..."

Finally feeling sleepy, Kisa rested his forehead against the table. "There's nothing to be afraid of..."

Or so he thought.

* * *

-**メリー クリスマス**

Hello everyone! Okay...just to make things clear, Tokugawa Era or the Edo Period is a very important part of the Japanese History that shaped the beloved country to what is today. And, although there was a lot that happened with Tokugawa Ieyasu and not accepting the real successor Hideyori, Yukina-clan and such is something that I just made up. Hehehe..so please if you wanna learn the real Japanese History, just search for it. This is actually one of my favorite period. And if you happen to watch Brave Ten and Samurai X and other history animes, you'll hear these names quiet often. In Inuyasha...Nobunaga was mentioned^^  
and belated Merry Christmas everyone!


	3. Luck and Bad Omen in One

**Luck and Bad Omen in One**

* * *

He moved with no sound, even the rustle of the blanket seemed to have quieted itself as Yukina walked towards the light snoring. His feet feeling the cold, tiled floor, he moved like he wasn't there. The light mess on the table and the two empty cups on it was a sign of a man cramming some work. The trace of the red marker on the sleeping man's right hand were very visible. Correcting or adding something to the papers underneath him.

Yukina circled the table, not removing his gaze from Kisa's sleeping form.

"Such a deceiving appearance..." Yukina hissed, slowly making his way to Kisa.

He stood on the side of Kisa and looked at the frail man before him. His brows furrowed deeply, a glint of utter rage, visible in his perfect eyes. Yukina smiled, a smile with no humor and lightly touched Kisa's forehead with his thumb. His perfect lips uttered something, too soft to be heard, and like he did nothing, Yukina moved away towards the sink and washed his hands.

* * *

When Kisa raised his head, he thought he was in somebody else's house as he stared still scattered brained at the face of the stranger sitting across him.

"Ah...wait...where..." Kisa turned his head sideways, inspecting the familiar place. With a trace of drool on his chin, Kisa gaped at Yukina.

"You're still here?! You...you're real?"

Sighing, with a smug face, Yukina scratched the place just under his ears, due to irritation. "Come on, are we not going to eat?"

"Eat?...wait...what time is it?!"

Kisa scrambled to his feet and went to the living room where a huge wall clock was hanging. Eyes wides, chest constricting Kisa stared at it hard as if doing so would put the time back to 7 am. "Oh my god, I overslept...and the team even has an early meeting! Ah shit...I am in trouble!"

All Kisa did was ran around his flat, put on his jacket without combing his hair. Stuff the papers on the kitchen table in his already bloated bag of dump and jumped to his door way. He opened the door and slammed it shut. He was already halfway to the elevator when he ran back to his room. Opening the door, Yukina was standing there like he knew Kisa would come back.

"You eat whatever there is, we have to talk tonight! Don't go anywhere!" With that, Kisa ran once again, running against time, perfectly aware of the scolding he would get from the editor-in-chief of the Emerald team.

"Who could go anywhere with this rag around me?" Yukina muttered smirking before closing the door.

"Ah...I hate living like this, the train will surely be crowded as usual...I feel so tired..." Kisa whined before entering the train station. To his surprise, there were only a few people in the station that day. This was very rare, since whatever time it was, rush hour or not, the trains were always so full of people.

Kisa's train ride was easy as pie. He was bothered by this but thought nothing much of it.

"Argh...I haven't finished the report, my follow-up with my other author..." Running, walking at the same time, Kisa organized his thoughts one by one. When he finally reached Marukawa Shoten, panting like a tired horse, Kisa found himself inside the elevator with the sales wild horse, Yokozawa Takafumi and none other than his chief-editor.

"Ah-just my luck..." Kisa thought to himself, wanting to just disappeare right then and there. The two tall men were so good at what they were doing that they seemed to be so impossible. He felt all his confidence leaving him.

"G-good morning..." the short guy greeted in a small voice, looking at his feet, expecting Takano to yell at him.

"Oi-Kisa..."

"Shit-here it comes..." Kisa braced himself, breathing deeply.

"I am sorry for being la~"

"Kisa, there will be an anime adaptation of two of your author's mangas. Make the proper arrangements for now. The team meeting is moved tomorrow."

As if Kisa was hearing not correctly, he innocently looked at the two men, awaiting for further confirmation.

"Oi, Kisa...what are you still day dreaming here? It's already the fourth floor. Now move!" Takano ordered, tapping Kisa on the shoulders.

This was ridiculous. He couldn't have this much luck in a day. Sure Kisa was happy that the rain of luck to him was one after another...but it was a little unnerving for someone who rarely gets to experience things go in his way.

Sitting on his chair, he opened his laptop and reviewed the sales report of the mangas he was incharge of. Slowly, a smile formed on Kisa's lips. This was insane, but the sales, the anime adaptation, everything, was just too good to be true and he felt unbelievably happy. What did he do to get all this luck? What happened?

"The painting...that smug guy..." Kisa thought, biting down on his pen. "I bought the painting just yesterday, but I was able to avoid Rio, the meeting moved tomorrow, the mangas...could it be that he, that Yukina something brought all these luck to me?"

He exhaled as he watched the other editors do their routine. "Ah-I am too old to think that way...no way."

Throwing his glance back to the sales records, Kisa smiled once more. He just made up his mind and he'd go buy Yukina some clothes after work. What harm would it be if he thought that Yukina brings him luck?

* * *

A pair of disgusted eyes ran through the small room. His dark-golden hair moved as he made his way through out the room, feeling, inspecting and imagining, how Kisa lived his present life.

"You'll experience utter happiness...like everything was going in your way. And just as it was given to you, they'll all disappear before your eyes. And you'll experience how you let me experience heaven only for you to throw me in hell..." Yukina stopped in front of the graduation picture of Kisa in high school. "You'll never get away from me unscathed..."

* * *

After work. Kisa rushed to the nearest mall and looked for clothes his lucky charm (Yukina Kou) would be able to use. He thought everything was like a fairy tale or something, and he couldn't still trust the guy from the painting, but he thought, since he bought the painting, he should be taking care of it. Satisfied at his crooked justification, Kisa went to the men's section of the mall.

The man felt a little embarrassed as some sales person tried to help him and brought him coats and shirts and pants his size. He didn't fail to notice the slight raise of the other man's eyebrow when Kisa mentioned its for a much taller and bigger man. His flushed face might have shown something that would definitely earn a handful of gossip for these employees to kill time.

After roaming around endlessly for two hours, Kisa happily left the mall with two paper bags of clothes and some toiletries for his guest. It was the first time he felt so utterly happy buying something for someone else. He was even a bit excited to see the change in the mighty, smug face when he sees what he bought.

* * *

"Hello? Grandma? How are you? I received your mail today...thank you very much!"

"Really? That's great then...so I guess your new project was given the go?"

"HAHAHA! Yes grandma! I am so excited to read your written version of that unheard legend..."

"I'm glad to help..."

"Oh~ Grandma, I have to go now, talk to you soon! Love you!"

Dead tone.

With eyes shining, Sawara-sensei hurriedly plopped on her sofa and carefully pulled the pieces of paper where her grandmother have written the details of the legend to her memory's extent.

One hand holding a pen, her glasses on the bridge of her nose, she started reading the first few pages.

"Oh my god..." Sawara bit down the pen she was holding and put the papers on the center table to get some hot tea. "How can this thing not be included in our history...?" she muttered as she made her way back to her urecognizable sofa bed.

When she sat rather carelessly, the other pages of what she was reading fell on the floor.

"Ah~~~what a mess..." she picked them up one by one. "Hmmm?" She squinted her eyes at the line that caught her eyes. And without knowing, she was already reading that part of that unheard legend.

_The Yukina prince painted something to give to the closest person in his heart. He poured all his talent and passion in it that he even thought it was his greatest masterpiece. On the painting created on an expensive fabric, with the most popular paint of that generation, the prince put his image and his beloved's image on it. Lovingly, he was holding that person's hand, tenderly gazing at this person's face. (Dear, I don't know how to tell you this since this may be awkward, but the prince's beloved was a man. This actually played a great role on how they got separated, but we'll get to that...-granny)_

_Both knew that if one of their families finds out, both of them would be tortured gravely. The kind of relationship they had was a taboo during that era. Everyone was so close minded. But the Yukina prince didn't mind it at all. He was content with the way their relationship was going. And then, the day the Tokugawa Heir betrayed the prince arrived..._

"Eh? Where's the continuation?!" Sawara-sensei screamed. "Ah goodness...they're not in order anymore...!" Picking something randomly, she saw a part where she got interested so much. She knew she should read the whole thing in order, but what could she do now? She messed the order already when they fell on the floor.

_The Yukina Prince's eyes were blurry and he already felt that his breath was leaving him. It was so painful. But the thing that pained him the most was the cruel smile of his beloved after plunging a dagger directly into his heart._

_"Shouta...wh~why..."_

_"I didn't know you are that stupid to actually think that someone like me...from the most powerful clan, would want to have to do anything with you...that's just so funny." the voice the Yukina prince so loved muttered, he couldn't believe his ears._

_"I loved you so much..." the Yukina prince cried, pulling the dagger off his bleeding chest._

_The Heir walked away, yawning like he was dead bored. "My job here is done." When he reached the sliding door, the innocent face of the Heir turned back to look at the prince dying. "Don't blame me for what happened to you. Blame your stupidity, Kou..."_

* * *

_Gasping for the last of his breath, the prince crawled towards his drawer, and pulled the rolled canvas he just finished the other night. Blood staining the other side of the painting, he stabbed Shouta's smiling face on the painting, and with the last of his strenght, torn the canvas into two._

_"I'll make you pay...for what you did to me...Shouta...I am never going to forgive you..." The prince whispered, rage welling in him that even though he was about to die, the smiling face of Shouta was still the one flashing before his eyes. "I am going to take your life with my own hands..."_

_And the prince died crying in hatred, burrying his love in the depths of his anger._

* * *

_"_Why...my god...why?!" Sawara-sensei exclaimed, sniffing and wiping her eyes. She adjusted her eyeglasses and continued to read.

_"It is believed that the spirit of the prince hid itself in the torn painting, waiting for its opportunity to take his revenge. But my dear, here's the sensitive part I want you to keep as much as possible. Tokugawa Shouta's offsprings, especially those with striking resemblance from the Tokugawa heir started to die one by one. 100 years passed after that , but the event continued to happen because it is believed that Tokugawa Shouta's spirit lives inside those people from their bloodline carrying his appearance. He couldn't rest in peace since he was cursed by the prince before dying, and so his spirit just wanders in this world. And each time he's being born, the torn painting appears. Due to the number of deaths, the clan thought that it may stop once they change their clan name._

_Thousand years after, from Tokugawa, they changed it into Kisada, that through generations changed into Kisa. To a girl who grew up in this modern life such as yourself, this may sound crazy, but the Legend is still continuing up until now. All the descendants of Tokugawa Shouta that looked exactly like him died in the most brutal ways. But they die without knowing why, because altough Tokugawa Shouta is inside those persons, his memory was already erased, how he lived, his sins, he is not aware of it all. So my dear, this may be just a coincidence, if you happen to meet someone in the Kisa-line, watch over them. Because, a tragedy awaits that unfortunate person."_

Sawara-sensei pulled her glasses off her face and looked troubled. "I know this is just a legend, but what shoud I tell Kisa-san?" She gathered the paper mess on her center table and tried to sort them out. "Ah..granny why didn't you put numbers on these? I got to know why Tokugawa Shouta betrayed the prince...I must know. Because if the spirit of that guy is really Kisa-san, my editor, there's no way Kisa-san would hurt someone, let alone kill without a strong reason..."

* * *

It was already nine in the evening when Kisa arrived in his flat. When he opened the door, he was greeted by Yukina's smiling face.

"Oh~so this one can smile like that..." Kisa thought to himself taking off his shoes.

"You're late."

"Huh? Late?" Kisa was dumbfounded since it was still early compared to the usual time he comes home. "Ah no...oh by the way...here...I bought you some clothes, I hope they'll fit you. Why don't you try them out?"

Without so much as a thank you, the tall guy stood, letting the thing he called as "rags" fall on the floor. Kisa had to turn his head immediately from the sight. While waiting, Kisa started preparing some food. He was smiling to himself. Preparing food for two was kind of fun for him. He never cooked for his flings before.

A total expressionless man appeared on the door of the kitchen, raising both his hands like saying "what?" when Kisa stared at him hard.

"It suits you well! I knew it...blue, fits you perfectly..." Kisa commented.

Yukina rested his back against the door and crossed his arms. "Why are you so friendly to me now? Just earlier you can't believe I am real."

"Ah-I just thought, you're still a part of the painting I bought, so I at least have to take care of you..." he answered, his hands shaking a little.

"'Take care'...huh?" Yukina smirked then walked towards Kisa, and swiftly removed from Kisa's hand the knife he was using for cutting the onions.

"What are you doing?" Kisa asked with not a hint of worry on his face.

A smile was only Yukina's reply.

* * *

**ハッピー新年 ！ようこそ ****2013! **

**読者ありがとうございました ！私はあなたのすべてのベストを希望この ****2013年****!**

Yey! finally updated! this is going to be my final update for the year 2012! Oh my! bye bye 2012! hello 2013! and to my beloved readers who are giving this a try...i am so happy. i hope others would find this interesting too! and also..this is actually darker than how i started it.^^

-AND ALSO...Tokugawa name was never changed...LoL...i just made it up^^...

is the legend still blurry? you'll find out soon why Shouta killed Yukina...and why Shouta couldn't rest in peace and is continuiosly being born.^^ happy new year!

**-shuusetsu**


	4. Sad Poem

**Sad Poem**

* * *

Kisa looked alternatingly from Yukina's face and the knife. Trying to surpress a smile, Kisa tried to get the knife back but Yukina raised it in the air.

"What? Don't tell me you're going to help me chop these onions? You are holding it in a weird way, do you even know how to use a knife properly?" Kisa said in a lively tone. "You look like about to stab someone..."

_"Ah...It must really feel good to plunge this thing into your soft flesh. Just like how you did to me...Shouta..."_ Yukina thought to himself as his hand that was holding the knife started to shake a little. His intent eyes watched the gleamer of the knife against the light bulb and squinted at Kisa.

_"It's not yet the right time though...I want you to suffer more. Killing you now is no fun..."_ the tall man told himself then lowered his hand and extended the knife back to Kisa. Even Kisa felt a little nervous at the moment of silence of his guest.

"Here, maybe next time...I wanna learn first how to cut things with this knife, neatly..." he told Kisa while smiling his fake smile.

"Ah~~ what am I thinking? He won't stab me, why would he...?" Kisa muttered under his breath, sighing in relief. "I guess, I'll have to teach you then," and Kisa took the knife from Yukina's hand. "Alright...I'll continue to~"

The moment Kisa got the knife on his hand and looked at Yukina, a piercing pain in his chest suddenly numbed his entire body. A lump formed in his throat, blocking his breath. Kisa's eyes focused on the knife and Yukina in the background, and tears started to well up in his eyes for no reason.

"Ah~ what?" Kisa's face was a picture of surprise as the tears started rushing down openly from his huge eyes. "Sorry...the onions...might have stung my eyes severely." Kisa sniffed, walking towards the sink slowly to wash his hands and face. "Ah man...this is a little too much though! They won't stop!" Kisa continued, embarrassed. He fully believed that it was because of the onions. But perhaps, though his memories were tampered after thousands of years of being reborn, it was no doubt, the body clearly remembered the pain of doing something he never wanted.

Yukina walked out the kitchen leaving Kisa behind. After a couple of minutes, he came back with a face towel in hand.

"Here Kisa-san, towel."

Kisa, with eyes still closed, shook the water off his hands and grabbed the towel.

"I'm sorry, for some reason my eyes won't stop...I am usually strong when it comes to onions...Eh?! How'd you know my name? I don't remember telling you yet..." Kisa asked, opening his reddening eyes a little to steal a glance at Yukina.

"You have it on your door plate."

"Ah? Right...I forgot...excuse me...I'll just calm my eyes then I'll prepare food."

Yukina started walking out the kitchen. When Kisa thought Yukina was already gone, the short guy again splashed water on his face, not knowing that Yukina, was watching him from behind. "Ah~why am I crying like this for onions!"

Thousands of years before, Yukina would have melted with those tears. He would come rushing to Shouta's side, comforting the guy, assuring that everything would be fine. But now? Deep inside him was the want to make Kisa cry more than ever. Cry due to pain. Cry due to despair. Thousands of years living with such deep hatred, have erased what little remorse, Yukina Kou had for his once loved one.

* * *

After eating, Kisa and the shameless guest sat on the sofa to catch up on some late night news. Yukina seemed a little bored, yawning here and there but his eyes were fixed on the television set. Having to appear each time his traitor was being reborn, Yukina was able to watch how the technology revolved. So he could be considered a very well informed being as well.

Meanwhile, Kisa was not listening, or even understanding whatever the news anchor was saying. In the corners of his eyes, he was watching Yukina. Watching how the man closes his eyes when he yawns. How Yukina ruffles his hair now and then. Those long fingers, tapping on the armrest. He was watching him. Watching all of Yukina.

_"Oh my god...his face is really my type..." _Kisa shook his head a little, feeling guilty. "_Alright, you just broke up and almost got beaten to death...when will you get your act together you old man!"_ Kisa sighed his frustration. _"I know, nothing good is going to happen with this stupid attraction. He isn't even human...I mean he came out from a painting right?!"_ Sighing once more, Kisa stole a glance at Yukina once again. _"Besides, he might get disgusted if he finds out that I like how he looks..."_

"Kisa-san, do you have something to ask me?"

"Ha?"

"You've been staring at my face for a long while now."

"Ah~eh..."

Yukina who was sitting on the other side of the sofa moved closer to Kisa. "Ask me anything. After all I am staying here, I would also want to earn your trust," the two-faced guy offered, smiling like a saint.

Flustered at the sudden short distance between them, Kisa tried to act cool and focused his eyes on the television. "Ahm well, I am just curious...why you're here."

"Ah that?" the best actor sighed and smiled bitterly. "Maybe I was just looking for happiness I didn't get during my time."

Yeah...the happiness of slitting your throat.

"What was it like during your time? You look like from royalty or something," Kisa pushed for more, starting to get more interested.

"Would you believe if I say that I am real prince?" Yukina asked, locking his gaze with Kisa.

The other man stared for a moment at Yukina's serious yet smiling face then smiled back. "What else could I not believe when I have someone from the painting sitting so close to me right?"

"Ah-that's true."

At the silence between them, Kisa felt awkward so he got the remote and flipped channels. "Eh...why would a prince such as yourself, not find your happiness during your time? Royalties were treated like gods back then right?" Kisa said, trying to open up a new conversation. Otherwise he'll die from the awkwardness of sitting together with a man no doubt his ideal. "You can have anything you want."

"True I was happy, Kisa-san, but it didn't last long. Let's say I was betrayed by a certain someone."

At the mention of betrayal, Kisa turned his head to look at Yukina's face. Kisa felt sudden sadness at what he heard. He didn't know why, but just hearing it from Yukina's mouth, it was causing him great pain.

"Ne Kisa-san, have you ever betrayed someone in your life? Betrayed someone who loves you more than his life?"

Without averting his eyes, Kisa didn't have to think about the answer. "I would never betray someone. Especially someone who cares for me. I think I would rather die than do that."

_Oh really...makes me want to strangle you now..._

"Of course...I can see you're a good person," Yukina had slowly raised his hand and caressed Kisa's cheek lightly. "Maybe that is the reason of all the people in the world, the painting ended in your hands," Yukina then stood and started going to Kisa's room. "Thank you...I'm going to rest now."

Kisa, speechless, stared at the closed door of his room. Brows deeply furrowed, Kisa touched his cheek where Yukina had touched him. He could feel himself burning. The very tips of his fingers, feeling the still lingering sensations of Yukina's touch.

"This...why does it feels so familiar...I don't want this..." Kisa closed his eyes. "If one day he had to go away...I would not be able to take it. I better stop this. I can't fall any deeper."

_You'll go crazy over me Kisa...and I'll throw you like a garbage once you've given up everything for me..._

* * *

Kisa had been trying to fall asleep on his sofa, but he couldn't. He would never fall asleep with the cold temparature he was feeling. For some reason, the heater he was using in the kitchen last night that he carried to the living room wasn't working anymore.

"Argh~ I can't take this anymore..." Kisa muttered with his teeth clattering. He slowly sat, hugged his huge, round pillow and walked like a snail towards his room. He missed the comfort and the warmth of his throne. His bed. Ah but, the guy from the painting, claiming to be a real prince was occupying it. Not to mention he was Kisa's type. He couldn't go there and sleep in there, without feeling weird.

He stood like a statue outside his door. Wanting so bad to turn the knob, race to his bed and pull the thick, warm blanket over his shaking body. Counting to three, Kisa opened the door ever so sneakily as if he was about to do something inappropriate.

"Ah...enough, this is MY room in the first place..." Kisa tiptoed his way in anyway. "I don't want to freeze to death..."

Finally, he was standing at the side of his small bed. Just being inside his room, already warmed him up a bit. However, he refused to look at Yukina's sleeping body on it. Slowly, Kisa knelt on the floor and rested his head on the edge of the bed. "Ah...warm...I could fall asleep like this..."

In the middle of half conciousness, Kisa felt his body floating like he was being rocked back and fort. He could feel gentle strokes through his hair, and a circling warmth around his body.

"So good..." Kisa mumbled, wrapping his arms to whatever was nearest to him that was making him warm, inside and out.

"But this kind of warmth, feels so real..." Burrying his face even more to something warm and soft, Kisa purred like a contented cat. And then gasped.

Eyes wide with shock, Kisa couldn't believe how he got into such an intimate closeness. His cheeks was resting against Yukina's chest. The guy's long arms were wrapped around him with one hand on his head. He was hugging Yukina back, and he even made that embarrassing sound.

"Yu-Yukina...! Wait..."

At Kisa's sudden struggles, Yukina hugged Kisa tighter, burrying his face on Kisa's hair. "Hmm..." He mumbled. "Just sleep."

"I don't think this is such a good idea...I'm going..."

"I don't understand why you refuse to sleep in your own bed, Kisa-san...and it's really cold outside. We'll feel more comfortable this way."

Everything Yukina said made sense. But Kisa was worried about one thing. He prayed so hard, that Yukina won't feel the thundering in his chest. It was so loud in his ears. He was afraid, Yukina could also hear it.

* * *

_"After stabbing the prince with a dagger, Shouta even mocked the prince. This mocking even fused more fuel to the prince's hatred towards the Tokugawa Clan's Heir. After the sliding door closed, the Yukina prince didn't see it, but the heir, Tokugawa Shouta, was crying buckets of tears, as he stared at his blood stained hands._

_"Shouta! You'll never find peace! I'll follow you and make your life miserable! Die the most painful deaths!" the Yukina prince had shouted before he lost his breath. And the poor heir could only close his eyes hard hearing the prince's last words. He wished he could also shut his ears, because he could still hear the prince cursing him over and over again._

_"Kou..." Strenght leaving his small frame, Shouta fell on his feet and silently sobbed his pains out._

_After a couple of minutes, Shouta pulled the sliding door open once more, where Yukina had bled to death. Numb and cold as ice, Shouta crawled towards Yukina's lifeless body. Biting down hard on his lips, enough to break skin, Kisa cupped Yukina's face._

_"I'll follow you soon...I never had the chance to explain everything to you...but...I believe you would understand why I did this...I am sorry...sorry...You have no idea...how angry I am at myself...but the emperor...the emperor..."_

_Gasping from all sorts of pain inside him, Shouta gently closed Yukina's still open eyes. "Be angry at me for all enternity, but I love you..."_

_Shouta stood and knelt at the torn painting. He smiled bitterly at seeing his face stabbed by the dagger he used himself. With shaking hands, he pulled the dagger off and raised it in the air. He threw one last glance at Yukina before closing his eyes. "I'll follow you...I don't want to live in here anymore..."_

_However, before Shouta could stab himself, strong hands of the emperial soldiers stopped him. They trampled on Yukina's body, but was careful with the Tokugawa Heir._

_"Shouta-sama!"_

_"Leave me alone! Leave me alone! Let go!" he spat, crying hysterically. He then noticed a faint form of someone he hated the most in the world from his blurry vision. His father._

_"What else do you want! I did what you asked! I did it...now let me...follow him...!" he choked in between his cries._

_The huge man, with endearing presence walked towards his tear-stricken son, knelt before him and grabbed Shouta by the chin. "Are you an idiot? The emperor is now waiting for you..."_

_And the emperial guards, pulled Shouta away from his beloved and brought him to his nightmare._

* * *

"Grandma...I don't understand this...why the Heir did this...and what's the emperor got to do with all these!" Sawara sensei sniffed...eager to throw an allnighter.

* * *

Flipping to the next page, the wide awake mangaka, prepared herself for some unexpected turn of events she never would have imagined from the start.

_When the Tokugawa Clan's Head found out that one of his sons was close with the only son of the Yukina-clan, he took this as an advantage to gain more favor from the Emperor, who was currently eyeing the Yukina Clan's territory. Originally, since Shouta was the youngest among the Tokugawa Heirs, Shouta had more freedom compared to others. However, the Emperor, took a liking of the poor Heir. (You see my dear, this is where societal status comes in, for normal people and the commoners, man to man relationship was considered disgusting, lowly, and unacceptable. But inside the Emperial courts, it was rampant and also a way to gain position in the Emperial palace.)_

_The Tokugawa Head planned on killing the entire Yukina-clan ever since. For some faithful event, Shouta heard of this. He begged his father, and came to the palace to beg mercy for the Yukina-clan, specially for the prince. That was when the emperor took a liking of Shouta. Shouta had a delicate built, with a face of a youth, he's got a skin fairer compared to most of his concubines and other toys that he instantly wanted Shouta._

_"Emperor Hiro, father...why must you do this? The Yukina-clan haven't done anything against you!"_

_The Emperor laughed. "Aha-you dare tell the Emperor what to do?" The Emperor, the youngest to be put to throne, raised his hand and ruffled Kisa's silky hair who was kneeling before him. "I guess you really are from the Tokugawa Clan, fierce and fearless...my friend, I have taken a liking to your son."_

_"That's an honor my Lord."_

_Shouta felt goosebumps running all over his body._

_"The duty of the Emperor is to maintain peace among its territory, why is it that the two most powerful men in this nation doing this?!" Kisa hissed. He glared at his own father and at the Emperor. Doing so, Shouta would have lost his head right on the spot. But the Emperor was enjoying every bit of it._

_A cruel smile formed on the Emperor's perfect features as he gaze down at the kneeling guy before him. Slowly sipping a little of his sake, he sighed._

_"Actually, there is one thing you can do to save the entire Yukina-clan, my dear Shouta..."_

_At the mention of his first name, coming from the devious voice of the Emperor, Shouta wanted to puke. Gripping hard at the hem of his robe, Shouta looked at the deep green eyes, listening._

_"I heard you are close to that clan's prince..." the Emperor leered. "You two are close enough to be sleeping together."_

_Shock painted all over Shouta's face...he didn't want to continue listening, because he had the feeling he knew what was coming next._

_"If the prince, who's going to be the next head of the clan disappeares, then I don't have a problem. Kill him, and I assure you, the entire Yukina clan will leave its territory , peacefully."_

_Not caring about what the counsilors and everyone in the court would say, Shouta stood before the Emperor, head raised. A complete sign of disrespect. "I won't obey you or anyone else!"_

_A meer laugh was the Emperor's response before standing. And his height made Shouta all vulnerable. "I am giving you a day to think about it. In exchange for the prince's life is the safety of his entire clan. In addition to that," the man bended to be able to have an eye to eye with the shaking Tokugawa heir before him. "You'll be serving me."_

* * *

_"Hey...Shouta...you've been acting really strange since we met this afternoon. You know you could always tell me anything..." Kou started, stroking Shouta's troubled face gently._

_"Ne-Kou...as a prince...what do you think is your greatest duty?"_

_Kou smiled first before looking into the star studded sky. "I am going to head the clan into prosperity. And I will protect my clan. Maintain this peace in our territory."_

_Shouta moved away from Kou, not liking Kou's answer. "Kou...what if it's only your life that can save your entire clan, what would you do?"_

Please Kou, say you'd throw being a prince and you'd choose to live. Please...please...

_Frowning at Shouta's strangeness, Kou raised his palm as if reciting an oath. "When I came of age, I promised to serve my Clan, of course I would do everything I can to save them."_

_Getting depressed even more, Shouta stood and walked under the huge Sakura tree which was in full bloom. It was a mystical view, as the petals dance with the wind and the full moon shining on them. "It's very sad..."_

_Smiling at his lover's childishness, Yukina went to where Shouta was standing and embraced Shouta from behind. "Shouta...to die for my Clan is my duty ever since I was born. But I want to let you know something..."_

_For you, I would have given up my life. Now together I guard it dear. I was prepared to die until I met you. Now that we are together, I wish to always be by your side.*1_

_Wanting to cry, Shouta turned his head a little towards Kou. "Since when did you start reading poems from Hyakunin Isshu?"*2_

_Embracing Shouta tighter, Kou chuckled. "I just realized that when you're in love...you get to appreciate poetry more."_

_Shouta could only smile, trying his best not to cry in front of Yukina Kou, who didn't had the slightest idea that his beloved's father and the Emperor was planning on wiping them off the face of the planet._

* * *

_At the break of dawn, Tokugawa Shouta, one of Tokugawa Clan's Heir, Yukina Kou's lover have decided. And that was to kill the prince._

* * *

_My dear, I am very sure you are thinking the Heir is stupid. But I want you not to judge him. Shouta was carrying a huge burden on his shoulders. And that was to take the one life of his beloved or let the hundreds of lives of people be taken. Shouta was just as human as anybody else. In modern fairy tales, the heir would have neglected the rest of the clan and tried to save the prince. But Shouta's conscience wouldn't be able to take that. And so he took the path of killing his own loved one for the sake of the many._

_In truth, the heir was so hurt by doing it, that he decided to kill himself right after killing the prince. But things didn't go in his way. Shouta wasn't able to kill himself and got himself thrown into the Emperor's mercy day and night. True to his words, the entire Yukina clan just had to leave their territory, with not one being hurt after the prince's death. Despair took its toll on the heir. And Shouta became very ill after 2 years of serving the ruthless emperor._

_The emperor's favorite was on the brink of death, but he forced Shouta to have intercourse with a woman. Because of the twisted want to have his next generation of a toy, be the same as Shouta. Small, frail, delicate and feisty at times. The emperor died though, and Shouta's offspring was able to be free from the unfortunate fate his father had to endure. And he was able to start his own family. That was where the Kisa-line started._

* * *

"Shouta...killed the prince to save the prince's entire Clan and became the emperor's..." Sawara sensei trailed off. "And now...the Yukina prince is aiming to kill Shouta..."

The petite woman walked towards the window and looked at the starless, cold night. "I could never judge what the heir did, because if I were in his position granny, I would already die just thinking about it... And if this legend is real, the prince is about to commit another mistake...the endless cycle of revenge and hatred, when will it stop? What should I do...?"

* * *

Peacefully sleeping in the warmth of Yukina's arms, Kisa didn't know that Yukina's eyes were glinting with deep hatred, as he stroked Kisa's hair with his long fingers.

* * *

Yoho! took me a while to update because my senses were caught up with the new year's celebration! hahaha... HAPPY NEW YEAR!

***1** is a poem written by Fujiwara no Yoshitaka (Poem 50)

***2** Hyakunin Isshu or One Hundred Poems is a compilation of poems from the greatest poets of old Japan. also used in the card game Karuta ( i tried to no avail, my brain is not for this kind of memory card games..hahha) Reading this would make you understand more of Japan's history. 43% of the poems in Hyakunin Isshu is about love, but I tell you...this is a great read. It is mostly a compilation of sad love poems that tells the story of many. Their love not having a happy ending. Social Status, the family you are born into, are one of the reasons why these people never had a happy ending with their love ones. And I really cried. Hahaha...

thanks for READING! REVIEWS APPRECIATED.!^^


	5. Two-Faced Prince

**Two-faced Prince**

* * *

_"This warmth...is something that I've always wanted. Why does this heat feels so familiar? It's so familiar that it scares me..."_

* * *

When Kisa opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was a pair of brown eyes staring back at him. His chest constricted at the sight, as if he was being pulled in an abyss of confusion. He wanted to yell that Yukina was too close and all that, but when Yukina smiled at him, he only felt drowning even deeper. Drowning into that sea he didn't want to be in. The sea to falling in real love.

_"No...he's not a human. He just smiled. What's wrong with me!"_ Kisa scolded himself. He slowly sat on the bed, acting cool. He didn't want to let Yukina know that he affected him so much.

"Kisa-san..." Yukina started calling him in that morning voice. So deep, so low, so soft. And yet Kisa felt that Yukina's voice vibrated in all parts of him. "Did you had a good sleep?"

A little flustered, Kisa smiled awkwardly and tried to have an eye to eye contact. It would look more suspicious if he would not be able to look him in the eyes. "Of course. It's MY bed, in the first place." He said trying to sound sarcastic.

Yukina chuckled and started to get up, brushing his soft, huge hand on Kisa's messy bed head. "I woke earlier and decided to make some breakfast for the one who's looking after me. It's better than the bento's you buy. You're lucky...I never served anyone during my time."

Speechless, Kisa stared with his eyes wide at the guy standing confidently before him. The breaking dawn's rays creeping into Kisa's room through the window, showering all it's early glory on Yukina. It's too bright, too dazzling, too hypnotizing that it's a sin.

A hand was extended to Kisa, as if he was a royalty being escorted by his loyal servant. "It's best to get up there or you'll be late like yesterday."

Kisa frowned at the hand and at Yukina. "Go ahead...I'll fix the bed first. Thanks," he said averting his eyes.

The dark-blond looked a bit hurt for a moment at his hand not being taken by Kisa. And Kisa saw that. And it made him hurt too.

"Believe me, I am happy to not have to prepare my breakfast for once. But I hate it when I don't fix the bed after waking up," Kisa lied. That moment he just wanted to assure Yukina that he wasn't rejecting him or anything. Why does Yukina's pained expression, felt so hurtful he could die.

Smiling again like a child, Yukina started moving out the room, leaving Kisa merrily.

With trembling hands, Kisa started gripping on the blanket so hard that the tips of his fingers hurt. He felt his face so hot from the violent thumping in his chest. _"This is bad. This is really bad...I'm being sucked in..."_ he muttered in his soft voice as he looked at the brightening sky from his window.

Little did he know that Yukina was still there, just hiding behind the walls, his lips in a thin, cold smile. His eyes with an icy flare, too cold that it burns. _"I see you're falling already,"_ he said to himself, glancing at Kisa's form helplessly looking out the window. _"Fall even deeper. And the pain you'll feel will be even greater...soon Shouta you'll be crying blood...the curse, your curse will follow you wherever you go."_

Yukina was smiling as he walked towards the kitchen, eager to hurt Kisa. While Kisa, was trying to figure out in his heart if it's okay to really fall in love this time.

* * *

"~sa! Kisa!"

Snapping out of his hazy thoughts, Kisa traced the room he was in and found three faces staring dumbfoundedly at him with another face fuming in irritation.

"Kisa! I know you're busy with the anime adaptations and all, but how many times to I have to call you to make you focus in this meeting?" Takano yelled, waving the manuscript he just rolled at Kisa's face.

Sheepishly, Kisa bowed and apologized and tried to focus his muddled up brain to the meeting at hand. But unfortunately, his thoughts just wanders back to the breakfast prepared for him by Yukina and to what he told him when he was about to leave the flat.

_"Ah~Kisa-san, would you mind if I come fetch you after your work?"_

_"Huh?" Kisa asked, not sure if he heard the princely being correctly._

_"Look, I want to get some fresh air too you know."_

_After glancing on both his sides, Kisa looked at Yukina cautiously. "You can go out on your own. Besides, I don't know when I'll be finished. Just go but make sure not to get lost."_

_Leaning closer, Yukina whispered at Kisa's ear. "In all honesty, I wanted to look around...with you."_

_Kisa couldn't remember anymore what happened next. He just dashed off like staying any longer like that with Yukina's breath brushing against his cold skin would make him die._

* * *

_"Eh~how in the world will he find me? He doesn't know the location of_ Maru~"

"Damn it! Kisa! I was asking you an update about the manuscript of Sawara-sensei's new project!"

* * *

Sighing, Kisa plopped down on his chair. After being scolded by Takano a couple of times, he felt so drained.

The floor was as usual so lively, and noisy. The work area starting to get all messy as the cycle got crazier. Sighing once more, he noticed Onodera being too stiff.

"Ricchan? What's wrong?"

Surprised, the newbie editor smiled at him and then scratched his head. "Ah~nothing...that tyrant chief editor told me to read all those manuscripts and I haven't even started yet and he got me tons more!"

Kisa laughed. He really find watching the newbie interesting to watch at work. Onodera was so hardworking, it somehow made him feel working himself. "Do you want some coffee?"

"Ah~you don't have to..."

Standing up, Kisa grabbed his purse on his table and started walking out their area towards the elevator. "Don't worry, I have business with Yokozawa-san too so I can get us coffee on my way."

"I see. Thanks then!" Kisa heard Onodera starting to shuffle into the pile of manuscripts before him.

When he reached the elevator, there was a little commotion going on. Being short compared to most of the employees, Kisa had to force his way in the middle of the circle to see what was happening.

"What? Sudden elevator maintenance? I mean I don't care using the stairs, but you guys should've informed us! How do you expect me to climb my way here in my stelettos?"

_"What is this?_" Kisa asked himself raising an eyebrow. _"Such a simple matter and she's making a fuss already?"_

Kisa again forced his way out of the cirlce that gathered around the woman and the technicians. He wasn't fond of the idea having to climb up and down the stairs. But maybe it was also a good thing, since he rarely gets an exercise.

He was at the middle of the steps that for some reason he felt dizzy. He by reflex grabbed the railings for support, but it seemed to get farther away from his grasp. _"Wha~"_

Everything that happened felt so slow. He felt himself lose his footing, head first towards the hard surface that awaited him.

Panicking, Kisa tried to stop himself from crashing down, but every inch of his body just wouldn't move. _"My god, what is happening..."_ he muttered as he watched himself fall in horror.

* * *

Ashamed of himself for tripping down the stairs at his age, Kisa came back at the Emerald Team's work area with a huge Band-Aid on his forehead. The nurse and the person that saw him fall even told him he was lucky he got away with just a scratch and a bump. If he had a different angle falling, he could have surely broken his skull.

Feeling a little sluggish, he sat on his chair, ignoring the people's stares at his face. He rummaged into his drawer pretending to be busy, so Onodera and the others who wanted to ask him why would back off.

_"Ah~seriously...I am back to normal. A day without any misfortune like yesterday is more suspicious..."_ he consoled himself.

But it wasn't just one. Some girl accidentally poured her coffee on Kisa's arm. It wasn't that hot to burn skin, but hot enough to sting and send Kisa's eyes tearing a little.

And that definitely wasn't the last one.

* * *

Engrossed in his work, he didn't notice that it was already eight in the evening. Tired, hungry and irritated at his misfortunes for the day, he grumpily made his way into the sea of people going to their own homes.

The bright lights of the establishments he passed by as he walked tickled his eyes. And the lively voices of teenagers giggling about their lovelives passed by Kisa's hearing. He had to bite his lower lip to stop himself from grinning like an idiot. Thinking that there was someone waiting for him to come back home, made him feel happy and excited. The days of going back into an empty place was a part of his working life he got used to, but that time, it was different. He had a Yukina waiting for him. Human or not, there was someone waiting. And that made Kisa's heart skip hundreds of beats.

Smiling blissfully, Kisa didn't notice someone coming forward to him in huge steps. He even stopped on his track when he remembered he told himself he would by Yukina more sweater because of the low temperature, though although the cheap ones only.

_"Now that I am sure with his body size, I can choose more freely now..."_ he thought to himself, placing his hand over his blushing cheeks.

"Shouta..."

"Huh?" By reflex, Kisa turned to look at where the voice was coming from. He felt his blood drop as he stared at the pair of angry eyes at him. "Ri-Rio..."

Slowly moving forward menacingly to Kisa, Rio, the latest ex-boyfriend grinned, glancing around the sea of people. "So you're not with your new boy friend huh? Or did he just left you after screwing you?"

"What the hell, don't make a scene here!" Kisa hissed, and he walked as fast as he could. Away from that possessive man. But his hood was yanked by Rio, making him almost fall to the cold ground. People were slowly taking notice of the two.

"What is your problem?" Kisa muttered as he steadied himself.

Rio was the type who didn't care if anyone looked or noticed. As long as he gets what he wanted, everything was just fine with him. "I don't remember ever letting go of my toy just yet..." the man said aloud, grabbing Kisa's jaw line and pulling the guy closer to him.

"If he already screwed you, then you can already leave him and get back to me. I sense he's the type of guy that once he gets to taste a certain dish, he gets tired of it so fast anyway."

_"What's this bastard saying? I don't even...I don't even have courage..."_

Feeling tired, Kisa didn't fight back anymore and just let himself be pulled by Rio to wherever the crazy man was going. He could feel the flesh on his arm where Rio was holding him sting as his fingers dug into his tender, cold flesh.

_"I don't have anything special in me...and Yukina would feel disgusted...he's just being nice now because he's staying with me...there's no way..."_

"Get your filthy hands off. Now."

There was a voice loud enough to make other people glance at the direction it was coming from. And after seeing Yukina, huffing like he just ran a mile, sweating despite the cold temperature, the people, mostly women couldn't take their gazes away anymore.

Kisa and Rio stopped walking. Yukina walked towards them, and the way he moved was already enough to make the women's hearts flutter.

"Oh...the knight in shining armor..." Rio held Kisa's arm even tighter, raising it in the air. "Say, we just make a threesome then? You, me...him"

At the mention of the hideous word, men and women grimaced. Looking at the three of them with shock all over their faces. Kisa who was about to die in embarrassment tried to pull his arm away, but instead the grip just got tighter.

"What?" Yukina hissed. "Threesome?"

"_Stop...stop this..._" Kisa prayed. He wanted to scram at the humiliating situation he was in. But the more he moved and tried to struggle away from Rio, the more Rio dug his fingers on Kisa's arm, where there was still a healing bruise that ache so badly when touched. Let alone be pressed on hard.

Kisa didn't know what happened next. First his arm was being yanked upwards it hurt so bad, and the next, he was in Yukina's arm, his face on his chest. He tried to move away. But Yukina didn't allow him to even lift his face on either side.

"Yukina...what are you doing...let me go!"

His hand on Kisa's hair, he lowered his face to whisper. "Just stay like that. People won't be able to recognize your face. It'll be bad if this gets around right?"

The short guy gulped. True. That was so true. If this got to Marukawa with him being involved in an indecent relationship, it would be really bad for his career. So ignoring his thumping heart about to explode, Kisa remained resting his forehead against Yukina's broad chest.

"And to you, you fucking retard. If I ever see even just a glimpse of your shadow around him, I'll chop your head off."

Rio laughed. "Aww...so you are admitting that you are his boyfriend?" He leered.

There was an intense silence on the spot where they were. As if the other people were also awaiting the answer of the princely man before them.

"Yukina...let's just go. Ignore him. He's hopeless..." Kisa muttered. Completely sure that Yukina was in no way in the world going to say he's a homo in front of everybody. With that face of his, people would just think he was joking. A man with a built and face carved out from a painting belong to women and women alone. Gays like him shouldn't raise their hopes up. _"Shit..."_ And Kisa was even hurt by his own way of thinking.

"That's why I am warning you to never come near him. Or I, his BOYFRIEND...will send you to your pathetic death. Take heed, scum."

Unable to move on his own, Kisa let himself just follow Yukina's lead. His face hidden against Yukina's chest, Yukina's strong arm around his shoulders shielding him from the piercing glances, Kisa could not think of anything. He was already busy arranging his thoughts and muddled up emotions.

They stayed that way. Yukina silently leading the way, Kisa silently walking in darkness only relying on Yukina's support. And then he felt Yukina trying to make him seat. And so he opened his eyes. They were in a park usually occupied by kids playing. But due to time and the cold temperature, it was only the two of them occupying the quiet place.

Kisa didn't dare to look at Yukina. He was so embarrassed at the previous happening he just focused his eyes on the penguin slide before him.

"Kisa-san..." Yukina started as he sat himself beside Kisa, his eyes up at the starless sky. "Are you alright?"

"Huh? Ah...yeah...I am alright..." was Kisa's short response.

It was so quiet it was deafening. It scared Kisa that because of the silence, his heart violently drumming inside his chest could be heard. Still pretending that he was calm, despite the rushing temparature on his cheeks, Kisa watched Yukina's profile in the corners of his eyes.

_"Why are you so nice...why are you doing this..."_

Then Yukina shifted his gaze at him. "There you go again. Sneakily watching me, that's useless. Whatever bothers you, tell me straight."

"Ha?" surprised at being caught, Kisa could not think of anyway to defend himself so he just sighed, his breath causing a foggy air before him. "I just want to thank you for earlier. You saved me two times in a row now. You even had to..." Kisa started fidgeting. "Even had to lie."

Moving his face closer at Kisa, Yukina stared deeper into Kisa's huge eyes. "It's not going to be a lie anymore if you accepted me as your lover."

The only thing Kisa could see was the sky when Yukina suddenly burried his face on his shoulders, hugging him ever so tightly.

* * *

Huffing and frowning at the same time, Sawara-sensei for the tenth time glanced at her phone. She was endlessly looking for her editor. When she went to Marukawa Shouten, she was told Kisa just got out. So she started running around, hoping she could still catch him. She wanted so bad to talk to his editor. Regardless if she would sound stupid or crazy.

"Come on...answer the phone!" Sawara-sensei shouted as she ran around the neighborhood Kisa usually passes on his way home.

_"Sorry, the number you have dialled is.._." was the only sound she heard on the other line. "Why isn't he answering the phone? He usually picks up after the first two rings..." she wondered worriedly.

"Hey, here, there's a signal over here," a girl called out to her companion. She was standing in front of a light post, holding her phone and waiving it.

"Really!?" the girl who was standing near Sawara-sensei shouted back. "How bothersome, why is there no signal in front of the park and at the end of it, there is? Creepy." The girl mumbled as she made her way towards her friend at the end of the park.

Heart thumping inside her chest, she felt something was so wrong. She didn't look inside the park being hidden by trees since there was no way Kisa would stay in it in this cold. But she decided to just check for herself to be sure. Plus, the phone signals being weird suddenly added to her suspicion.

She roamed her sharp eyes across the wide space. And as she slowly reached the area where the slides and swings were located, she noticed two figures sitting on a bench. It was kind of hard for her to make out their appearances, seeing that the other one has his back on her, and the other one looked like the person was resting their head on the other person's shoulders.

"Kisa-san?" Sawara-sensei whispered under her breath squinting her eyes.

She felt cold all over her body. Not because of the low temperature, but for an entirely different reason. The guy who was resting his head on Kisa's shoulders lifted his gaze. And looked at her. It was as if he saw through her. And she shook violently when a smile started forming on that perfect face. Despite the distance, there was not mistaking that the man was eerily handsome.

The eyes kept on staring at her, despite him shifting on his seat as if trying to tackle Kisa. And before she knew it, the guy was already kissing her editor, with his eyes glinting of anger towards her.

* * *

"Yuki-Yukina...this sort of thing..." Kisa panted, trying to move his lips being devoured by the other away. "You're just being caught up by the moment..."

Hands started caressing his back, Kisa felt every nerve of his body waking up, he just went stiff.

"Try me..." Yukina whispered on Kisa's lips. "With me, no one's ever going to hurt you."

"I don't know how to...All my life it's just physical relationship I've had. Don't do this...I am afraid."

Yukina cupped Kisa's cheeks, and searched the glistening pair of eyes. "Then slowly learn to love me."

_That's not the problem...Kisa thought to himself. I think I am already falling.._."I wouldn't be able to handle it if I get hurt. The wounds from my body will heal eventually...but the wounds in the heart won't..."

Claiming Kisa's soft lips once more, Yukina hugged him tighter. "You don't have to worry about wounds in the heart Kisa-san..."

Sniffing, Kisa burried his face against Yukina's chest. His hands gripping tightly on Yukina's shirt. "Alright...let's try it..."

The two-faced prince kissed Kisa's hair and patted him on the shoulders. "I am so happy. Thank you Kisa-san...don't cry anymore...

Hugging Kisa tenderly, Yukina looked at the woman standing not far from them. And then he darted his gaze on Kisa's head on his chest. "You'll never worry about wounds Shouta...yours will break into pieces instead, and we're almost there..."

And then he smiled a humorless smile at Sawara-sensei.

* * *

She felt her knees grow weak. "Oh my god...this...this isn't happening...am I too late?"

* * *

**_Chapter end notes:_**

Hello! yey..i updated finally. hahaha I really hope you enjoyed this chapter. !\thanks for the support! review please! ideas come flying before me when i get some! hahaha...^^ ja..brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...


	6. author's note

Hello! to the readers who've been waiting for an update. sorry..it's been a while. I got busy with RL...and I am also updating two of my other stories (The Shadow Singer) and (The Other Side of the Coin) so the updating got a little slow. Rest assured, I am not dropping this story. I just received a message asking if I already dropped this. So for those who are also wondering the same thing...NO. Hehehehe..

I really like writing thIS...so that's far from happening.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE.

uPDATE WILL BE TOMORROW OR THE NEXT DAY...my time is really messed up. ^^ ARIGATOU.^^

MatchMakerGirl THANK YOU FOR THE SUGGESTION...THE SONG IS BEAUTIFUL!


	7. It has begun

Yehey! The long wait is gone, the update is done! Muahaha..thanks for the people who've been following and patiently waiting for this update. Hontou ni arigatou! ^^ ENJOY...! i REALLY ENJOYED WRITING THIS chappy I FORGOT TO EAT DINNER...grab some onigiri then..hahah..i hope you enjoy this too and tell me your thoughts!^^

* * *

**It has begun**

* * *

Through Kisa's eyes, he could see the midnight blue sky, as if crashing down on him. As if extending his hand would allow him to reach it. The cold breeze brushed his cheeks, sending his soft strands of hair leave his face. It felt so good. It felt so calming. The feeling of sensing the cold, yet knowing something warm wrapped around him made him feel so full he'd burst.

"Yukina..." the small voice of Kisa called, as he tightened his grip on the guy's sweater. "I can't breath...it's too tight..."

Kisa heard a chuckle from the guy embracing him, that made him smile too. He felt so secure inside those strong arms it felt like he was really supposed to be there. Felt like he had been there. But...it was really tight. The arms encircled around him were closing in, he could feel his chest constrict due to pressure.

"Yukina...I said it's too tight...could you loosen a little..."

"_Shit..."_ Without looking at Kisa, the dark-blonde released his arms from holding the man and instead hid his face on both of his palms, his elbows on both of his knees._"I almost lost control..."_

With a worried look on his face, Kisa ran his hand on Yukina's back up and down, as if calming a crying child. "Yukina? What's the matter?"

A forced laugh was Yukina's reply as he buried his face deeper into his palms. "Let me calm myself, Kisa-san...I am getting ~hard..."

"...!"

Blushing from cheeks to ears, Kisa stood abruptly. He didn't know how to react at that. He felt hot too. And to ecape from the awkwardness of the situation, Kisa glanced to his left, to his right, around the park. Just to focus his attention to something else. Strange that despite his author waiving frantically at him, Sawara-sensei appeared to be invisible in Kisa's view.

"Kisa-san! Kisa-san!" the tired voice of the mangaka called. Waiving her hands in the air, wanting to run to her editor. But her feet wouldn't follow her. She was glued on the spot. As if she was in a different dimension from Kisa and the mysterious guy he was with.

Never the type to swear, Sawara-sensei cursed under her breath.

* * *

"Ah~eh...Yukina...I think we should go home now. Okay? It's getting late, it's getting colder..." stuttering, Kisa started moving away from Yukina, afraid to show his face as red as a ripe tomato. "So...let's go..."

_Doesn't he have shame? I never imagined he's the type to say something as that outloud..._

With huge, hurried steps, Kisa left Yukina on the bench. His hands in front of his mouth, blowing his warm breath to stop his hands from freezing from the cold and more from nervousness. "_What the hell...I am not a virgin but why do I feel like this...Ah mou..."_

Eyes wide, Sawara-sensei screamed as loud as she could, but the blushing Kisa just passed her by like she wasn't there.

"Oh my god...Kisa-san I am here..." was only Sawara-sensei's plea as she watched the short guy's distance grow from her, from the park, from her sight.

A well of hope grew inside her chest when the editor turned to face her. "Kisa-san...you can see me?"

Smiling, eyes shining, and cheeks colored crimson, Kisa raised his left arm and waived back. "Yukina! Hurry up or I'll leave you!"

There was a complete horror that took place on the mangaka's face. Kisa was seeing past her. Seeing only the guy her editor called as "Yukina". And as she heard herself gulp, she looked at where Kisa was smiling at and found the "Yukina" person stand from his seat and waive back with a smiling face. The "Yukina" person who had the same name of the prince still drowning in anger. The prince of the Yukina Clan.

"That guy..." she didn't know but she felt completely afraid of the princely face. She could sense complete evil in him.

Graceful as a the royalty that he was, Yukina's long legs started moving. Moving towards the waiting Kisa at a distance. Moving closer to the woman that Kisa couldn't see.

Every step the man made, Sawara-sensei felt more and more scared. Her heart felt like it would just stop any second. She wanted to run, she felt like falling on her knees, but all her lower body was numb. She looked from her feet and at the tall man nearing to her alternatingly. She kept on gasping, as the tears started rolling on her red cheeks.

"Please...please...no..." she murmured into her own thundering temples when Yukina Kou passed her by with an eerie grin on his face.

Their eyes met. Black eyes full of fear against light-brown eyes devoid of any emotion. It was just mere seconds, but to the trembling woman, it felt like forever to have to stare at those beautiful yet, cold eyes.

Suddenly, Sawara-sensei gained control of her lower body. Or so she thought. For the moment she felt her feet being connected to her entire body, she instantly fell on the cold ground. Unable to move, unable to speak, the woman just looked at the pair with helpless eyes. Hearing a voice inside her head that kept on repeating, over and over again.

"Stay. Out. Of. My. Way. Woman."

* * *

The two walked silently. Only the occasional bark of a distant dog and the flow of cold air filled their ears. From the corners of his eyes, Kisa could see Yukina looking at him. And it made him all the more nervous. He could only look at his feet stepping forward. Wondering why such a glance felt so hot.

Kisa was happy that the princely guy, his ideal turned out to be open. He was giddy that the man himself said that he got 'hard' by just hugging him. It was a different feeling from all the perverted things his previous boyrfriends have murmured in his ears. It made him excited hearing all those things. But Yukina's was so sharp it pierced not just sexual desires but his entire being.

Yes, Kisa was happy, but Yukina Kou of the present was the greatest liar there could ever be.

Who got hard? No one. He lost control. That was the only real thing in that moment when they were sitting on that bench. He lost control of his want to crush Kisa he felt he could just easily break Kisa's bones by just his mere grip. And feeling the beating heart of the short man, thundering on his chest, the want to put a stop to it swelled that he lost control of his strenght.

"Soon...very soon..."

"What's so soon?" Kisa had raised his questioning eyes to the tall man.

Only a small twitch of Yukina's brows was the only sign of his surprise. A surprise that Kisa didn't notice.

Suddenly putting his one arm on Kisa's shoulder, he closed the gap between their cold bodies and chuckled. Flashing his smile that can melt anyone, he brushed his thumb on Kisa's soft cheek. "'I want to make you mine soon' is what I am thinking."

Kisa grimaced at the leading words. "Aren't you feeling embarassed of what you've been spouting since earlier?" the shorter guy asked masking his discomfort. A discomfort that strangely he liked if he would be more honest with himself.

* * *

Sweet. Painful. Addicting. Three words that Kisa could only express through his sensual moans and gasps.

Inside the steaming shower, two naked figures collided and snaked into one another. Hands feeling the softness and smoothness of each other's skin, lips that meet and part to leave traces behind. Tongue that kept whispering sweet nothings; perverted, sexy, dirty. It was driving Kisa crazy.

The tempting sound of the water, adding to the enticing sucking sounds Yukina made to Kisa's erection was enough to make the short man senseless. His moans increasing in volume as the hot, searing tongue played with his "thing" expertly. So strange...so strange.

Kisa yelped when he felt Yukina's front teeth graze lightly on his sensitive, throbbing skin. Unconciously he had began biting his nail on his thumb as Yukina pleasured him.

"Why? Why do you seem to know all my freakin good spots...God..." Kisa panted, arching his back when Yukina's fingers started teasing his opening.

"Coz I just know it."

Leaving the throbbing shaft, Yukina grabbed the back of Kisa's head forcefully and slipped his tongue in. So different from the soft kiss the man gave him earlier, Yukina was so forceful, sucking Kisa's tongue hard that it hurt.

"Yu~ki...na..." Kisa's muffled voice echoed into the walls of the bathroom. "Oww..." he started protesting, trying to break free from the hard, painful kiss.

"Kisa..." was the only last thing Kisa heard from the man before him before his own screaming.

Stronger, bigger, Kisa was no match to Yukina. He could only lay limply, sobbing and screaming after Yukina had entered him without a warning. Without any preparation. Without the least bit of gentleness. Yukina Kou, pounded inside Kisa's already raw insides like he directed all his anger in the act.

Everytime Yukina thrust in hard, Kisa's mouth opens wide without a sound, his eyes shut in tears and the water splashing in the tub from Yukina's violent movements. Tired and in pain, Kisa watched Yukina's eyes staring at him with everything but love.

* * *

Painful. Bitter. Unbearable. Were the things that replaced Kisa's bliss.

"Yukina...why...st-o...AH!"

No answer came but a series of forceful thrusts instead shook Kisa's insides.

"Yuki..." Kisa choked in his own tears.

Satisfied that he already buried his seeds inside the bleeding flesh of Kisa, Yukina pulled out with a popping sound. Without any facial expression, he watched the panting, broken man before him. Kisa who was trying to catch his breath. Kisa who had the most pitiful eyes. Kisa who was trying to crawl out of the tub but couldn't even lift a single toe in his feet.

With his huge eyes, Kisa stared in horror when Yukina started leaning on him once more. He didn't want to have this kind of brutal sex.

"Yuki-na...why...what did I do to you...?" Kisa asked in a small voice, barely audible through his trembling lips.

But his ideal "prince" just gave him a smile. A smile so cold it numb his heart.

"Stop this...Yukina..." he started sobbing. Started begging.

"Shusssh..."

An index finger lightly pressed on Kisa's bleeding lips. Bleeding because of Yukina's kisses. The touch was soft, it was so gentle Kisa wanted to cry more but he couldn't anymore.

The narrowed eyes of Yukina at the bruised body was still not enough.

"Shouta..." Yukina whispered in his deep voice as if he loves the man. Leaning closer, the prince looked deep into the fearful eyes before brushing his lips on Kisa's. It was so light it felt like it was just a breeze. And when he moved away, he ran his long fingers on Kisa's collar bone like some spiders crawling on the pale skin.  
"This...is not enough..."

A gasp escaped out of Kisa's mouth before he felt himself being pushed down the tub filled with water. Yukina sat on Kisa's hips, his strong arms pushing Kisa's head down the bottom. It was only Kisa's arms visible grabbing into thin air. He was like someone drowning in a vast ocean.

Yukina's face didn't change even though he already felt the weakening struggles coming from Kisa. He remained pokerfaced as he watched the hands flail. As he watched the bubbles from the tub decreasing in numbers. As he watched the person he loved drown.

There was no strenght left in Kisa's body. Raw, tired and shattered, Kisa opened his eyes and only the silhoutte of Yukina was the thing left for him to see aside from the blurry water stopping him to breath.

_"I'm going to die...Yukina...why..._" Kisa asked as he started to drift into an endless slumber.

Kisa felt like he was falling. Everything was so dark. It was so cold. It was so empty.

"...!" _No...I don't want to die...I don't want to die...help...help me..._

With the last of his strenght, Kisa lifted his arms heavy as lead on the surface of the tub. And felt pain when he was yanked upwards.

'What the hell are you doing Kisa-san! You're about to drown! Shit!"

Kisa who was completely naked looked around his small bathroom. His head buzzing as he took in every details. Kisa looked at the worried face of Yukina who was trying to keep him from sliding down the bottom of his tub once more.

The still dazed man looked at the pair of brown eyes in fear. He even struggled to get away from Yukina's grasp.

"Kisa-san! What has gotten to you?"

Trembling, Kisa closed his eyes and took painful, deep breaths. "Nightmare..." Kisa mumbled, frowning. "The worst kind..."

Yukina's lips remained in a thin line and before Kisa knew it, Yukina had pulled him out of the tub and carried him in his arms.

With eyes wide with shock, Kisa tried to struggle. "Put me down!"

"I am not listening to someone who's as shaken as this. I'm going to put you to bed."

"Put me down! You'll get wet!"

"And you'll catch a cold..." Yukina countered.

That was the only time Kisa finally realized his nude self. More than the cold he was feeling was the embarrassment taking over. All Kisa could do was wrap his slim arms around Yukina's neck as the tall guy started walking towards the bedroom.

"Don't have to be shy or afraid...we're going out now, remember?"

Looking away, Kisa just held on tighter. "What a frightening dream. It felt so real...so real..."

* * *

It felt so damn real because it was real. The life of the previous body where the soul of Kisa Shouta lived ended by drowning in the tub. With reasons unknown that remained still as a mystery to everyone.

What Kisa saw was just himself dying in his previous life in the very hands of the blinded in anger prince.

* * *

Her room in total chaos, Sawara-sensei paced the wooden floors. Her every step making the boards creak. It has been hours since she got to encounter the real prince from her grandmother's story. The first encounter of how she felt so helpless in front of the guy living in anger.

"What should I do? What?" She asked herself, annoyed and scared at the same time.

As if remembering something, the woman dashed to the pile of messy papers on her work table and dived into the mess.

"I saw that...I knew I've read something...important..."

The woman almost threw her things over just to see what she was searching for. Notebooks, books, papers, scratches and clean papers were all over the place. Her hands trembling as she scanned the not-in-order pages of the legend her grandmother had accounted for her manga use.

It was sad that it turned out to be something as this. Of all the people in the world, why did it have to be her editor, and friend. Scared as she was, her conscience wouldn't allow her friend to just fall into his death without her doing anything.

When finally she seemed to have found the page she was looking for, she stood and walked around the room with the paper starting to crumple from her shaking hold.

* * *

"Kisa-san..." Yukina started while gently running his hand on Kisa's hair. "What did you dream about?"

Lying on his back, totally covered by a thick blanket, Kisa's eyes moved from the ceiling to the guy who was sitting on the side of the bed. The image of Yukina drowning him came back to his mind and he then shut his eyes.

"Just~a random scary dream..."

From his sitting position, Yukina started sliding down the bed, taking Kisa into his arms, warming the still cold body of the other man. "I'll stay here with you until you fall asleep. Don't worry."

Kisa smiled at Yukina as he slid his soft, slender fingers together withYukina's long ones and squeezed them. He roamed his sleepy eyes once more around his dimly lit room and sighed. He caught a sight of the empty painting he bought still hanging on the wall and he started thinking deeply.

"Yukina..."

The darkblonde rested his head on his hand and looked at the youthful face of the man beside him. "Hmmm?"

"What happened to the other side of the torn canvas? Where is it?"

"Rest now...Kisa-san...you must be tired."

Gently, like Kisa was a precious gem, Yukina lifted Kisa's head and positioned it under his arm. "Rest now Shouta...you'll have a long way to go..."

But Kisa heard nothing, for he fell asleep as soon as he finished his question. He didn't had the chance to see the cruel smile etched on the perfect lips of his ideal prince.

* * *

"I don't know anymore..." Sawara sensei cried. The paper silently falling on the floor.

She slumped on her messy sofa bed massaging her aching temples. "This...is totally out of my control grandma...when he's with that guy, I can't contact him in anyway..."

The piece of paper against the cold floor lay still. Carrying another line that shouldn't have happened.

_"The curse of the Yukina Clan Prince will start to befall slowly on the reincarnation of the Tokugawa Heir the moment the heir started asking where the other side of the canvas is..."_


	8. Unstoppable

Thank you for your patience and support! Let's do it! Ahahaha^^

* * *

**Unstoppable**

Kisa awakened from a discomforting sensation against his supple skin on his stomach. He scratched it lightly, but the itch won't go away. He scratched a little harder. Long enough that he started feeling his skin sting with rawness. Kisa looked around the dim room where his eyes had already adjusted. He noticed the sleeping face of Yukina beside him. And not wanting to wake the peaceful form, Kisa slowly slid off the bed.

He scratched his skin though he knew he shouldn't. But the itch was so great he couldn't wait to pour rubbing alcohol over it. When Kisa reached the bathroom, he tried so hard not to look at the empty tub. Seeing it reminded him of his crazy, very real-like dream. So he just focused his eyes on the medicine cabinet hanging on the tiled wall. The moment Kisa reached for the alcohol, he hurriedly lifted his shirt only to see his flesh, without skin, bleeding and sore.

"Oh my god..." Kisa muttered, the bottle of alcohol slipping from his grasp, the contents spilling on the tiled floor. "My god...my god..."

The already wide awake man stepped backwards, as if doing so would let him get away from his own flesh. He could hear the violent beating of his heart, feel it against his tight rib cage. Sweat starting to form on his forehead despite the cold. Gulping, Kisa held the hem of his shirt.

"Just...just look at it...one more time..." he convinced himself that the second time he checks, the hideous flesh would soon be gone.

It took Kisa years to lift his shirt. And he was right. There was no skinless flesh on the side of his abdomen. Just plain white skin, reddening from his own nail scratches.

Somehow chuckling at his own stupidity, Kisa bended to pick up the now empty bottle of rubbing alcohol, grimacing at the wasted contents.

"What's really going on with you? Still asleep are you?" the dark-haired man scolded himself in front of the mirror. "Wake up now Kisa..."

He thought something was wrong with the mirror. He didn't remember crying at all. His hand instantly flew to his cheeks to wipe his dry, cold skin. He clearly wasn't crying. But the mirror was showing otherwise.

"Yuki-yukina!" Kisa screamed. He couldn't even step away from the mirror. His own face staring at him, weeping. As if telling him something. "YUKINA!" he screamed once more.

"Why am I seeing these things? God!"

Kisa wanted to look away. Looking at his own face crying, weeping in that fashion was so frightening he could wet his pants. "Stop this...stop this nightmare..." this time, the Kisa staring at the mirror started shedding tears from fear and confusion.

The man in the mirror, his face, started moving his lips. "Be careful...he's just waiting for the proper time..."

"What the hell are you saying!?"

"You are me. I am you..."

"No...this is a nightmare...another nightmare..."

The face of the man in the mirror started bleeding. From under his left eye, a sudden gush appeared, endless river of blood running from it. Staining the green, shiny silk. The robe with very intricate designs of a royalty of old Japan.

"Your curse lies in me."

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" Kisa screamed from the top of his lungs, shutting his eyes hard. But no matter what he did, eyes opened or closed, he could still see himself dressed in a weird manner. Bleeding and crying at the same time.

"The other side of the Canvas, is me..." the moment the man in the mirror, the man with his face, finished talking, bugs started creeping out of the man's eyes, mouth and nose, but the man just stared at him with no reaction.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AHHHHHHHHHHH"

"Kisa-san! KISA-SAN!"

Yukina had been screaming at the top of his lungs as well, hugging tightly the man before him thrashing violently.

'Kisa-san! Wake up...wake up...shuush..."

"Ahhhh...ahhhh...Noooo...nooooooooooooooo..." Kisa muttered, his eyes at its widest. He had been crying and screaming for about fifteen minutes until he had no more strenght in him. "Yukina...Yukina...I am so scared..."

Kisa felt himself sink into Yukina's broad chest. Strong arms wrapped around him while Yukina kept on running his huge hand through his sweaty hair.

"I'm here, I won't leave you...you're safe...calm down...calm down..."

Kisa held on to Yukina tightly, sobbing, like his life depended on it. But he just didn't know he was clinging to the real threat in his life instead.  
-

"Why don't you skip work today Kisa-san?"

Kisa, with dark circles around his eyes smiled tiredly at the man sitting across the table. They just finished eating breakfast but the dark-haired man barely even touched his food. He just toyed them with his chopsticks, looking lifeless and worse than the steamed fish on his plate.

"I can't do that. The anime adaptation, the other mangas I am incharge are also nearing their deadlines...I just have a lot of things to do..."

Yukina's brows met into a deep frown. "Even for just a day? Kisa-san...you look like you'll collapse any minute."

Kisa felt warm inside. Someone worrying for him felt so good. He could just enjoy the pampering he was getting from the princely guy he decided to go out with.

"I'm really okay...you see, I have been waiting for this break in my career...I just couldn't slack off at this time of the year," Kisa stood, lifting his still full plate. "I'm going to be fine..."

It was so fast but Kisa could only stare in awe as Yukina pulled the plate away from his grasp, and started clearing the table himself. "If I couldn't stop you from going to work, just leave these dishes to me and rest on the sofa. I'll accompany you to your work...just wait for me okay?"

Instead of going to the living room to rest like what Yukina offered, the short guy remained standing in the small dining room, watching the broad back of his new boyfriend do the dishes. He watched the back of Yukina's head while the man busied himself in the sink.

This has never happened before. For the first time in the history of his relationships, it was the first time that it was him being served and cherished like this. First time that he felt like he was being loved and cared for so much that he couldn't help but start to weep. He was feeling a painful yet sweet swelling inside his chest, telling himself that he must be the luckiest guy on Earth that time.

"Kisa-san...go now to the sofa...I'll be done here soon..."

With small steps, Kisa moved from where he was standing to where Yukina was. His slender arms encircling Yukina's waist tightly from behind, Kisa rested his flushed, wet cheek against the warm back of the man no doubt he was in love with.

"Yukina...thank you..." he whispered.

The tall man stopped with what he was doing and tried to turn a little to get a glimpse of the man hugging him. "Are you crying, Kisa-san?"

"I am just happy..." _So happy I would do anything to stay with you forever..._

The moment Kisa entered the fourth floor of Marukawa Publishing after being accompanied by Yukina, Kisa sat on his chair, eager to work. Being calmed and assured by Yukina like that, he slowly was able to convince himself that he was just having crazy nightmares because he was just stressed from all the work piling up on him.

"Good morning!" Kisa greeted the frowning newbie beside him.

Onodera Ritsu looked at Kisa rather surprised at the liveliness of Kisa's voice despite the man's pale complexion from lack of sleep. "I am surprised you could still be happy after that Kisa-san. It wasn't me but I feel already bad like this...I salute you..."

Kisa stopped flipping the notebook he had in hand and looked at Onodera's eyes deeply. Not sure if he was on the same page with what the newbie was saying.

"What are you saying? I don't undertand..."

"Kisa!" A voice called out. When the man lifted his gaze, he saw Takano and his sour expression. "Come with me for a minute..."

A little nervouse, Kisa followed the editor-in-chief at the farthest side of the room, away from the eyes and ears of other people on the floor.

The guy looked at Takano expecting a scolding. Perhaps he did a mistake he overlooked and the boss was just irritated at it. Waiting to hear Takano's scoldings, Kisa kept his cool.

"Kisa, the anime adaptation is cancelled."

"Huh?" Kisa heard it clearly, but he couldn't utter anything in response.

"I asked the Studio A, but they won't give me a proper reason why. Unprofessional bastards..." Takano hissed.

Kisa looked at Takano with a disbelieving face. It has been a long time since he got, or one of his author got an anime adaptation offer, and now?

"I'm sorry Kisa. I did what I can..."

Kisa had been staring at the cluttered desk the whole morning. The empty cups of coffee piling on his table. He tried to get some editing done, but he couldn't. He didn't expect that the blow of the disappointment from the cancelled anime adaptation offer would shake him this much.

_"Enough...this isn't the first thing that this happened...you could live with it..._" Kisa whispered to himself. He looked at the ceiling, feeling the hot sting of tears in the corners of his eyes. "_You could always...have the same opportunity next time Kisa. Nothing to worry...nothing to worry..."_ the poor guy cheered himself.

But despite having lifted his gaze towards the ceiling, the tears still escaped his eyes. He did his best not to be heard as he discreetly cried his broken dream. The turn to his career as an editor reached forward in just a day, but just as fast he received the offer, it also disappeared like that into thin air. The velocity so strong that was why the damage in Kisa's self-esteem was so huge.  
-

The night came and Kisa just snuggled on Yukina's calming presence on the bed. He drowned himself with the man's scent. Indulged himself with the man's warmth against the cold temperature outside and the feeling of emptiness inside him.

"Kisa-san...something happened?"

"Hmmm...Yukina...do you really think you can love a failure such as myself?"

"Baka~who says you're a failure?"

The two just cuddled to each other feeling each others warmth. No kisses, no lewd acts, just plain comforting.

"Yukina...you're so different from the men I've gone out with...the moment we hit the bed, all they could think of was sex...this is the first time that I realized just lying like this could give me this content feeling..."

Yukina brushed Kisa's cheek with his thumb, his voice sounding like he was smiling which made Kisa felt safer. "Don't get the wrong idea there, Kisa-san...I am just like any other man...but...I won't force you to something you're not yet prepared to do. I'm willing to wait..."

"..."

Kisa closed his eyes and tried to sleep. Ignoring his weeping, bleeding face flashing at the back of his mind.

And all the time Kisa was feeling secured around Yukina's comforting embrace was Yukina's disgusted look at the back of his mind.

The morning's sun peeked from the clouds. And Sawara-sensei took this as a sign of good luck. She just got back from her visit to Okinawa where her grandmother was and she had been feeling so uneasy the entire time she was in her car driving nonstop.

_"Grandma...what should the heir do to stop the cycle? I mean what must he do to completely stop this cycle of revenge?"_

_The old woman sitting at her rocking chair and doing some crocheting looked at her grand daughter curiously. "Aren't you being too much interested with the tale my dear?"_

_Sawara-sensei toyed with her pink scarf that was knitted by her grandma herself. "For my manga Granny...for my manga..." She lied. She hadn't told the old woman anything about the real encounter with the scary reality of the legend. She didn't want to make her grandmother worry. Because she knew that the thing she was putting her nose into was something grave._

_"Dear...it's very easy actually, but it was the heir himself who refuse to do it. Everytime his memory comes back, every time the heir comes back to his senses, he also remembers what he has to do. But it was him who refuses to do the final thing to put a stop to it. It was the heir's choice. "_

_"What?"_

_"The heir doesn't need any guidance...he will know eventually what he has to do."_

_"Granny...tell me please...I don't want to wait until my friend is already about to die!" At her outburst, her hand flew to her mouth. She just exposed herself._

_The warm smile of the old woman pierced her heart. Her grandma was a strong woman who has got more experience in this cruel world. She couldn't deceive her, she should have known..._

_"The other side of the Canvas has to..."_

While driving, Sawara-sensei tried to call her editor. There was no traffic in the high way, she could make it into Marukawa by ten.

"Kisa-san...come on..pick up..."

The two figures walked hand in hand in the middle of the cold morning. Kisa refused at it at first but Yukina wouldn't let go of his hand. The eyes of the people where at them, but Yukina acted like it was the most natural thing to do.

"Yukina...it's broad daylight!" Kisa whispered, his cheeks flushed.

"So what?" Yukina squeezed Kisa's hand tighter. "We'll stay warmer like this..."

Blushing, Kisa just looked at the other side of the streets, squeezing Yukina's hand back.

He felt like he was being a child once more. A dream to openly hold hands with the person he liked. It was a new feeling he would never exchange for anything in the world.

After a few minutes, Kisa noticed Yukina chuckling. He looked at the tall man beside him who couldn't stop his laughter.

"Oi...what happened to you?"

Yukina suddenly ruffled Kisa's hair and smiled at the shorter guy so charmingly. Even the people on the streets who were present could just stare in awe at the pair. Wondering perhaps the world had gone insane.

"No-nothing Kisa-san...nothing..."

"Eh-why are you laughing if there's no reason?"

"Come on...you'll be late..."

Like the gentleman he was, Yukina gently increased his pace, leading Kisa faster as they walked into the busy streets of Tokyo.  
-

Meanwhile, police officers and the medics were rushing towards a car that jumped off from the highway, falling into the cold, raging waters of the river below.

* * *

**Chapter end notes:**

Hello! For MatchmakeGirl and the rest of the guests who i cannot send personal thankies...DOMO ARIGATOU GOZAIMASU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY INNARDS! AHAHA

and to ALL. ALL YOUR SUPPORT ARE HEAVENLY!^^

i hope i didn't creep you that much with Kisa's dreams. they were based on my dreams!ahaha..believe It or not..crazy creepy dreams are normal to me...if you want i could tell you more..but not with the fic anymore..heheh

LOVELOTS;shuusetsu /


	9. Choice

_**Slumps on the floor...LOL...sorry for the very very very very late update for this one! NYAHAHA**_

* * *

**Choice**

* * *

The remaining blocks to Marukawa Shouten was nothing to Kisa. He could be the happiest man on earth just to experience holding hands openly with another guy. His previous relationships had only been very open in bed, but in public, they were like strangers. Thus, Kisa could never wish for more. He could never wish for more.

The busy streets, the happy chitchat of people and the bright sky in that winter season was too good to be true. However, there was one thing Kisa couldn't remove in his mind. He was trying to push it off but it was nagging him. Nagging like it was chewing every little piece of his courage as he looked at Yukina's back while he was being pulled by the guy towards his work place.

Kisa gulped the lump in his throat.

Yukina was still giggling.

And Kisa, try as he might, his insides were telling him, screaming at him, that something was off with the guy.

* * *

When they were almost near the main entrance of the Marukawa Shouten's building, the tall guy released Kisa's hand. His perfect eyes looked around the area like he was scrutinizing something before facing again the bothered Kisa.

With a face Kisa pulled on as a happy one, the short guy nodded then started walking away. Not wanting to get unwanted attention from the employees of Marukawa walking on that street that time that might start a destructive gossip in his career.

"Kisa-san!" the sweet, deep voice called out, Kisa instantly turned around to look at his current lover's face.

Without a sound coming from his mouth, Kisa just formed the words "what is it" with his lips towards Yukina.

"See you tonight!" said the man with a princely face while waiving his left hand up in the air. And as smooth as his hair, the man smoothly disappeared into the sea of people rushing into their own works that morning.

* * *

Humming while Kisa waited for his laptop to load, Kisa looked around the usual busy floor of Marukawa's fourth floor. Nothing was unusual. Their chief-editor had again that sour look on his face at the irritation with the editors running late with their manuscripts. On the other hand since Kisa's anime project was cancelled, he had nothing much to do. The other men in Emerald team were busy doing their own editing as the end of the cycle was coming nearer at their faces.

_Nearer?_

That one word caught Kisa by surprise. He was feeling so strange the moment him and Yukina parted. And that word somehow felt...coming to him.

Kisa's huge brown eyes darted back on the screen of his laptop that said 45% loaded. _Why is it so slow to load today?_ Kisa wondered.

Impatience and the nagging feeling in him, Kisa just stared at the blue, blinking line on the screen, tapping his fingers on his table rhythmically, waiting. Waiting and waiting...and waiting...

_Huh? What's this flower in my hand?_ Kisa asked himself surprised at the pink petals that appeared before him. He couldn't believe it. But he was standing in the middle of a hill. The long green grass swaying with the wind. The sky as blue as fantasy. And the pink petals being blown around him coming from the huge Sakura tree behind him.

Then he felt his body move towards the tall Sakura tree in full bloom. _Oi...oi..why don't I have control over my body? I want to go there! Not here!_

Kisa's body then sat under the shade with the pink petals showering him. The fragrance intoxicating him.

"I wonder when's he coming?" Kisa felt his mouth move and heard himself ask through thin air. But it was not him asking the question.

Slowly, piece by piece, bit by bit, Kisa Shouta realized that he was like watching something that happened before. Watching an event that happened so long ago through his own eyes. He was in his own body. However he was just a mere audience. A mere audience of a scene he didn't know yet to be focusing on him.

Through Kisa's eyes, he could see his hands excitedly twisting the necklace of Sakura petals in place while alternatingly looking down hill. He had assumed he was waiting for someone.

_What the hell is this dream? I am even wearing a Yukata in the middle of nowhere, happily waiting for someone? It's like a cheesy flick..._

Kisa didn't want to move but his body was moving on its own anyway. Before he knew it, he was already at the edge of a cliff.

_"What the hell am I doing here? Hoi, what are you doing here?!_ Kisa asked himself, but he was just a mere audience. He could only watch what was yet to abound to him.

There was a rustling from behind.

Kisa heard it and his body instantly turned around.

"Kou! I thought you already forgot..." Kisa heard himself speak the words. It was so weird to hear himself speak.

_Yukina is here as well? Pffftt...Yukina what's with the get up? Ready for Natsu Matsuri?_ Kisa kidded, but he had to admit that Yukina looked so gorgeous in his red Yukata, where his chest was exposed for his eyes to feast on.

The man walked towards Kisa and leaned down on him not saying anything. Kisa who was watching could just stare in awe as he looked at the man licking his lips sensually. _Oi...oi..._

He could feel his own hands moving on Yukina's broad back as his mouth started returning the kisses. Kisa was left not seeing anything as he felt his eyes close at the weakening of his body. He felt himself swallowing everything Yukina gave to him. Sweet, hot and addicting. The essences of the hot kiss dripping down on Kisa's pale neck he shivered at the sensation of it trickling down his skin, as if teasing him more.

For the conscious Kisa, the kiss felt like it lasted for years. And once again, Kisa saw light when his body opened its eyes. And wished that his body hadn't.

"Yukina?" Kisa's voice asked. _Why is Yukina acting so strange.._.Kisa heard his thoughts echoing inside the dark place he was in. As if he was watching everything through only a mirror.

_Why are you backing away towards the end of the cliff you stupid me!_ Kisa shouted at himself. _Yukina, stop me I will fall_! but his body just kept on making little steps on the soft grass, getting closer at the edge of that beautiful cliff, with his prince edging closer to him. Edging him to go nearer at the rocky edge. He could feel the rustling of his Yukata from the strong winds coming below. He could feel his heart drumming violently at whatever era he was.

Kisa was too busy telling his body to stop going in that direction to notice Yukina's grin. And when he did, Kisa felt sickening fright inside his chest. He knew he was about to die. He wanted to save himself. He wanted to tell his body to run away. But no matter how hard he shouted, his body didn't hear him. He could only watch Yukina grab his body by the neck. Those beautiful, strong fingers digging forcefully into his throat.

"Yu-ki..." Kisa heard himself choke. And though he wasn't choking himself, it seemed to him that he stopped breathing just by looking at Yukina's frightening eyes. Eyes that turned already into menacing slits.

"Shouta...did you know?" the husky voice started giggling. "This is the 98th time that you will die in my hands?"

_"Can't you ever forgive me?_" Kisa heard his thoughts once again. _Forgive what? Forgive what?!_

Kisa was expecting Yukina would throw his crying body down the cliff, but Yukina didn't. The dreaming man watched his poor form be pushed against the soft carpet of green grass. He watched himself look at Yukina's glare as blood starting dripping from the corners of his mouth.

At the time Kisa felt his body grow numb, his cheeks wet from his own tears, was the realization that the man before him, his Yukina had just poisoned him.

"Kisa-san! Oh my God? Are you alright? Your lips are bleeding?!"

Not knowing what to do, Kisa looked around meeting the weird gazes of his coworkers. He turned left and right and saw his face reflected on his laptop that went black due to standby mode. Onodera Ritsu was right. His lips were bleeding. They were bleeding because he had been biting on them hard as he watched his freakish dream take place before him.

It felt like it wasn't even a dream. The laughter Yukina in his dreams gave was the same as how Yukina did earlier that morning.

Grabbing a roll of tissue that he had in-stored inside his drawers, Kisa muttered his silent thank you at Onodera. And with trembling fingers, Kisa wiped his blood from his chin.

_"Why do I keep on having these dreams? It's like I'm being haunted..."_

Kisa had already calmed down. He was already ready to work. After all, he knew for a fact that brooding over his senseless dreams won't do him any good. And with a few worried looks from his team mates, Kisa started tapping on his keyboard the summary of his report. He'd been typing away, his job fully in his mind. When the dark-haired man heard Mino-san chuckling behind him.

"What's that Kisa-san, you're so on edge with the cycle that you typed already what was in your mind?"

Confused, the man looked at Mino's face then slowly looked back at his word document. His fingers had become frozen as Mino-san started telling Onodera what Kisa had just typed.

"Eh? Really? Kisa-san, take a break first you're really strange today!" Onodera joked after throwing a glance at his screen.

Kisa was sure he was typing the percentage of the sales of the mangas he was in charge. But instead, it was something different and Kisa felt the things that were happening weren't just plain, freakish dreams. For in his screen, in bold black letters was AREN'T YOU TIRED OF THIS CYCLE? YOU ALWAYS HAVE THE CHANCE BUT YOU IGNORE THEM."

What Mino and Onodera thought was that it was meaning about the end of the cyle of their editing works, but it meant a whole, complicated thing to the confused Kisa who was staring at the blinking horizontal line. The nagging feeling that he was trying to brush off, the strange warnings that he was trying to ignore in his mind were slowly surfacing.

Each time Kisa breaths, it was like he was breathing his last.

He wanted to remember something. And yet it was him trying to block the memories slamming their way out of the imaginary chest Kisa had built within him long, long time ago.

* * *

"What?!" Takano caught the attention of everyone when he suddenly yelled out of nowhere. "She...?"

Takano's hazel eyes met with Kisa's curious ones who had lifted his gaze from his screen towards the commanding presence standing at the end of the long table of their team. The whole of Emerald stopped with whatever they were doing.

"She's in a coma?" the tall man asked in a softer voice.

For some reason, even though the editor-in-chief hadn't said a thing yet, Kisa knew it had something to do with him. Takano's eyes said it all.

"Alright, I'll inform him..."

As if he was standing on an uneven ground, Kisa felt himself staggering as he slowly stood from his swivel chair. His trembling fingers grabbing the edge of his desk for support, he looked at Takano searching for a confirmation. For inside him, he could sense that something bad had happened to one of his authors. Scary as hell and as creepy as it appeared to Kisa, he couldn't remove Sawara-sensei's name in his head.

* * *

"Dear, dear, dearest love Shouta...the time is just around the corner, ne?"

The flat was so dark. It was the middle of the day but Kisa's apartment seemed to have been enveloped by darkness darker than the night itself. It was only Yukina's glinting eyes that shone through the darkness as he stayed sitting on Kisa's sofa in the living room. The beautiful eyes fixed at Kisa's high school graduation picture hanging on the wall.

"Shouta...die...die a never ending death. That's the only way I could forgive you."

And the glass of the picture frame began forming cracks from the bottom up to Kisa's lower left cheek. The part Yukina had stabbed on the other side of the canvas.

Yukina Kou has long been consumned by his deep anger. He had already forgotten how much he loved Kisa from the depths of his soul. He was even no longer Yukina Kou. Yes, he wasn't anymore.

He was just a beast.

* * *

Kisa ran through the sea of people. His face feeling the cold air as it landed on his warm skin. He tripped, he almost lost his balance. But Kisa still continued to lift his heavy legs and run the few remaining yards towards the train station.

_"Sawara-sensei got into an accident. She...wouldn't be able to use her hands anymore Kisa..."_

Remembering what Takano had told him, Kisa started feeling his cheeks get colder as the cold wind dried his tears. His eyes blurry, his chest aching at how such a pitiful thing could happen to one of the most passionate mangakas he knew, he jumped, and ran the steps down to the subway station.

"Sawara-san..." Kisa muttered, his voice shaking. The person beside Kisa just threw him a curious look before going back to whatever he was typing on his phone.

_"The doors to the right side will open...please..."_

Kisa entered the train without so much thought. He walked in and stood on the corner stiffling his sobs with his cold hand. Sawara was a good friend too, what would the mangaka do that she could no longer hold a pencil and ink her works. What would a mangaka do with hands that has no more life in it?

_"Burn it! Burn it!"_

The flames licked the floors of the train. And suddenly, it was just Kisa in it. The red flames blazing in Kisa's wide eyes, the man stepped backwards,feeling his back against the last section of the train. There was no space to move into.

The train transformed into an old mansion, burning everywhere. And there Kisa saw himself holding a piece of cloth as he gaze painfully at Yukina's sad face.

_"You can't do it, can you Shouta?"_

"..." the crying man lifted the canvas where Yukina was painted towards the hungry tongue of the flames. The sides started to burn. And Yukina before him started burning as well.

Yukina was just laughing.

_"Kou...I'm sorry...I'm so sorry..."_

_"Sorry?"_ the prince stopped laughing and glared at the shaking man dressed in a night robe. He didn't show any pain despite his feet being devoured by the fire.

_"Shouta, I had so much dreams for you, did you know that? I would have abandoned everything for you. And yet...you killed me...and you are killing me again with this fire."_

_"Yukina I did that for your clan...I had no choice!"_

Kisa, the one in that era cried desperately as he watched the canvas and his loved one burn at the same time.

_"Shouta-sama don't!"_ a woman's voice screamed.

_"If this canvas completely burns...Yukina will never comeback, will he?_"

_"Shouta-sama don't even think about it!"_

"_If I die and be reborn again, I will get to see him once more...we'll get to spend a little time together,"_ Shouta lifted his gaze back at the smiling Yukina before him. _"Even if it would just be a period of deceiving...I'd be...happier."_

_"Shouta-sama, end this cycle I am begging you! Let the prince and yourself finally find your rest! This is not right!"_

_"But I want Yukina!"_ the Kisa of that era shouted._ "I want him with me."_

Just as he changed his mind, Kisa frantically put the fire off of the canvas. The sides were already burned. But he didn't care. Yukina in front of him stopped burning as well. But the house was still on fire.

_"Shouta-sama, what have you done?"_

_"I won't kill him anymore with my hands...I can't."_

The room around Shouta started to crumble. The fire hissing everywhere within Kisa's space.

_"My lord, everytime you do this, the prince's wrath will be deeper, to the point that he would no longer remember how he...to you..."_

Kisa was dying before his mansion even got into a fire, he was already at the brink of his death. With a gushing wound on his chest from Yukina, there was no way he'd live. His eyes blurry from the smoke, his lungs crying for clean air, he just sat at the edge of the table, watching Yukina slowly disappeare into air.

_"Let's meet again, Kou, in my next life time..."_

Having done his role, Yukina completely vanished before Kisa's eyes as the center of the man's mansion started falling down on him.

_"Take the canvas and leave..._" he told the old woman who was at the door.

She did what she was told. She kept the torn canvas. Both sides. But Yukina's side disappeared just as she was about to touch it. The other side of the canvas was the only one left on the hot, burning floor. It was only Shouta's side of the painting she was able to keep.

In the middle of that vast estate, the mansion started crumbling to Earth, with Kisa Shouta in it dying for the 113th time.

_"If hate will be the only thing to link us forever...Id be glad to die over and over again..."_

* * *

He was staring at a nightmare. That was what Kisa was thinking as he looked into the glass panel of the intensive care unit. His author had been injected with all sorts of tubes to sustain life. Even her breathing looked so painful. He couldn't even recognize her anymore. Her entire body was wrapped in bandages. Bandages with stains of yellow and red.

The police told him that her author's car lost control. The doctor said Sawara-sensei almost drowned. The investigators couldn't explain the bruise on the female's wrists as if she was forced to steady her hand on to something. Probably on the wheels to go straight into the river...?

Kisa held on to a small, wooden box. A box the police said the woman was trying to protect with the last of her meager strenght.

Like the back of his hands, he knew what was inside it. He knew it the moment he saw it.

Everything started making sense.

And Kisa had two choice.

* * *

The creaking of the door vibrated into the walls of his dark apartment. But Kisa didn't even had any intention of turning on the lights. Instead, he moved on towards his room by sense of touch. He knew every nook and cranny of his own flat. And he knew that intense eyes watching him as he moved around in his home fluidly.

"I thought you won't be coming back here anymore...Shouta..." Yukina asked who was completely hidden by the darkness of everything.

"This is my home. Of course I'll go back in here," Kisa answered pausing in front of the open door of his bed room.

"You remember now, don't you? And yet you came back? Aren't you afraid?"

Kisa smiled to himself. He was dead scared.

"Yukina, the kindness you showed to me, were they all lies?"

"You know the answer to that, Shouta."

"If I die tonight it's going to be the 128th time..." Kisa said without emotion.

Heavy footsteps filled Kisa's ears. They were coming towards him. His instincs wanted to run and told him to scram, yet he forced himself to stay where he was standing.

Gasping for air, Kisa felt his feet leaving the floor. He was being pushed up into the walls. His neck soon to break as his legs flailed into air.

"Don't you know that I can't get enough of your dying face Shouta? The last of your breath is music to my ears. Your tears are my happiness..." Yukina hissed, his thumbs pressing hard at the center of Kisa's throat.

_I've been selfish too, haven't I Yukina?_

Kisa's muffled sobs filled the hallway. The shallow breaths, the screams that he couldn't voice out were all inside his crushing throat.

"Yu-ki-na..."

Kisa could feel himself weakening. His lungs screaming for oxygen, his eyes crying due to pain. The world had never been so dark in Kisa's eyes. It wasn't even the dim room he was pertaining to. He was pertaining to the darkness he had helped to build around Yukina. If he wasn't so selfish, Yukina wouldn't be too engulfed by his hatred. He should have let him rest. He should have ended that cycle a long time ago.

But he wanted to see Yukina alive.

He wanted Yukina to stay in this world.

He wanted to stay with Yukina in this world.

But everything has its limit. He should put an end to it.

They'd been running around in circles, doing the same thing over and over again. Him being reborn, Yukina appearing to kill him. The game they were playing had been going on far too long already.

It should be game over soon.

He moved both of his hands and tried to touch Yukina's face. But he failed. His hands just kept on reaching and reaching, but he was being pushed upwards. He couldn't do a thing.

"What now? Begging for life?"

"...ck me..."

"Sorry but I cannot hear you."

Shutting his eyes hard, he could taste his own tears, Kisa screamed the words he wanted to say.

"Fuck me!"

* * *

There were two choices. And Kisa chose the selfless one.

* * *

**chapter end note**:hello! i guess i;ve been a little vague here...lol..i am planning to spill everything in the next chapter.

what is that selfless choice?hahaha

probably you have your ideas already..buwahaha boy i am so excited to spill it. hahaha...well...i am planning this fic to be short. so...we're almost at the climax..^^

thank you for the time reading!^^ CHU!^^

yukata for men...looks sexy...haha  
natsu matsuri is summer festival

-shuusetsu


	10. Time

**Time**

* * *

"What?"

He shut his eyes so hard it hurt. It was so embarrassing. But it was his last wish. He could even imagine the plain shock on his murderer's face. And Kisa, as stupid as it could get, felt happy.

He lay hanging against the wall limply. Fighting back never crossed his mind. Kisa just slowly creeped his cold hands on Yukina's grip around his neck. And he could feel his own pulse throbbing againts Yukina's skin.

"I said fuck me..." come the choking voice. It sounded so small. Yet it was so crisp and clear. It resonated into all the corners of Kisa's flat. "Fuck me like you hate me..."

There was silence except Kisa's fall on the cold hard floor. He landed hard on his bottom after Yukina released him with no warning. His lungs hurt so badly after being filled with air once more. His other hand on his chest, Kisa looked up at the dark silhouette. He could sense it looming on him. Closer to him.

"I see you've lost your mind."

Kisa chuckled. This time it was his turn to be insane.

* * *

Kisa's head hit the floor with a thud. Yukina had just pulled the still weak man's feet towards himself making Kisa lay on his back.

_You were once so gentle..._

"Shouta, I don't hate you," Yukina's voice was so low. "I despise you."

Eyes toward the ceiling that Kisa couldn't even see, he felt cold, soft hands against his stomach. The unbuckling of his belt sounded so loud, it chimed off his waist. He didn't even flinch when he felt his jeans and his underpants slid their way off to one of his knees.

He could feel his nakedness, his vulnerability, his weakness as he felt his legs being spread wide open impatiently.

And like what Kisa was expecting, there was no foreplay.

* * *

"Kou...I love you since the beginning..."

Kisa could feel his spine grinding hard against the floor. Each thrust, each painful thrust was like a knife slicing at Kisa's core. But he didn't complain. He wanted it. He wanted it to be hard, painful, unbearable. Because there would be no repetition of the nonsense cycle ever again. That was the choice he made.

"Love?" Yukina had stopped moving. "Do you expect me to say I love you too?"

"Can't you?"

"I am just fucking you for fuck's sake."

Smiling, Kisa rested his arm against his closed eyes as he savoured the heat that was burning from where they were joined. There was no hint of gentleness. It was indeed for fucks sake, just like what Yukina had said. But it was different for Kisa. So different. And though the man being shattered into pieces wanted to cry, he didn't.

_I've shed all the tears I have on my way here. I have no more..._

"K-Kou...thank you for letting me cry on your shoulders when I had nowhere to hide..."

Grunting as he increased his pace, Yukina just acted not the least bit touched. "I did that for fun."

"Thank you for cooking for me..."

Yukina didn't answer.

"Thank you for watching over me as I sleep..."

"What is this drama that you're pulling off now?" Yukina hissed, as he turned Kisa to lie on his stomach.

Each movement forces Kisa to burry his face on the surface beneath him. He didn't know anymore how many times he felt his cheeks scrape the floor.

"Thank you for holding hands with me in public..." Kisa exhaled the tired words out his dry mouth.

Yukina grabbed both Kisa's thighs and gripped them tight enough to leave a bruise. "Enough..."

"Thank you for the sweet memory in the park..."

"I SAID ENOUGH!"

"Thank you for all the kindness from the very start..."

Anger boiling in Yukina's chest, his left hand landed on Kisa's lips with a slap and it never left Kisa's mouth the entire time the prince was satisfying himself. He didn't want to hear another nonsense from the man he hated the most.

The prince's brows met into a deep furrow. Kisa's small hands started holding onto Yukina's hand muffling his words. Kisa was carressing his hand gently, delicately.

Like a bolt of electricity was released, Yukina pulled his hand from Kisa's grasp and pushed in deeper, harder and hastier instead into Kisa. Making clear that he was not being affected whatever Kisa was doing.

_I want a kiss...I want one last kiss from him..._

Catching Yukina offguard, Kisa pushed himself forward, wrapped his aching arms around Yukina's neck and brushed his chapped lips against Yukina's soft ones.

Thrusting stopped. Breathing stopped. Time stopped.

_"I thought I have no more tears to shed..._" Kisa thought to himself.

The moment their lips met that time, the sides of his cheeks felt cold. And he could feel something dripping down from his chin.

Eyes wide, Yukina stared into nothingness for a moment. Seeing things he could only see.

_"Just bear with it for a while...I'll buy you a frame on the next pay out."_  
_"I am grateful to you for helping me out earlier, but I am not your servant." _  
_"Ah no...oh by the way...here...I bought you some clothes, I hope they'll fit you. Why don't you try them out?"_  
_"It suits you well! I knew it...blue, fits you perfectly..."_  
_"Ne-Kou...as a prince...what do you think is your greatest duty?"_  
_"It's very sad..."_

Yukina blinked as flashes of the past ran before his sight like a camera snapping photos continuiously. And the longer Kisa lingered on his closed lips, the fog before Yukina's eyes started getting clearer and started taking shape.

A familiar room. A canvas torn into two. Him on the other side. The guy he hated on the other one. And there he was, the only prince of Yukina clan, lying lifeless on the tatami floor.

_"I'll follow you soon...I never had the chance to explain everything to you...but...I believe you would understand why I did this...I am sorry...sorry...You have no idea...how angry I am at myself...but the emperor...the emperor..."_

Gasping from all sorts of pain inside him, Shouta gently closed Yukina's still open eyes. _"Be angry at me for all enternity, but I love you..."_

The familiar room suddenly became occupied with men wearing the familiar symbol of the emperor.

_"Leave me alone! I did what you want! I killed him with my hands to save the entire Yukina Clan! I am going to follow him!"_

_"Are you stupid? The Emperor is now waiting for you...serving the Emperor would be your highest achievement Shouta."_

_"No! No! No! Kill me now! Kill me now!"_

The familiar face of the huge man glared at the small, shaking man on the floor. _"Shouta, from the very start, the Yukina's and the Tokugawa's are enemies. What makes you think that your silly love can change it?"_ Moving out the room, his robe fluttering, he threw a distateful look at the dead prince._ "Bring Shouta and dress him properly. The Emperor is eager to know you better Shouta, act properly and be obedient."_

_"How can you do this to your own son!? Otou-sama!"_

* * *

"Arhg..." Kisa pulled away abruptly. His lips bleeding from being bitten by Yukina.

"I almost couldn't see through your lies Shouta."

Confused, Kisa could only try to picture the face of the man he loves through the darkness. And in a snap, Kisa felt his chest about to crash as he slammed back against the floor. The stronger guy on top of him once more. Confused, and angrier.

"Stop showing me these crap! STOP SHOWING ME THESE SHIT!"

Kisa who wasn't the least aware of what Yukina was saying licked the blood off his lips. The salty sensation lingering in his mouth as he kept his mouth shut to stop his moans of pain. The hard floor to embrace him as the prince poured all his anger in his every movement inside Kisa's soft flesh.

* * *

Rolling to his side, Kisa could feel the sticky sensation trickling down his thighs. His blank face facing the wall, he listened to the rustle Yukina's clothes made as he pulled himself together.

The prince's low panting, the steam of after sex on the hall way even infuriated Yukina more. Fully zipping his jeans back, he threw a glance at the half naked man on the floor before entering the bedroom without closing the door. Kisa heard the bed's springs as Yukina sat on it.

With all his might, Kisa sat on the floor, trying to put back his soiled jeans on him. He could still feel his raw insides throbbing. It felt like something was still there. And Kisa smiled bitterly.

Fingers trembling, Kisa pulled his zipper upwards, and never had imagined that doing so would take a lot of effort. His every joint was aching. His head was throbbing. His heart was bleeding.

"Thank you for fucking me hard," Kisa muttered in between his raspy breath as he tried to grab the walls for support.

Yukina turned on the lampshade on the bed side table and looked Kisa in the eyes as the man rested his back against the walls. They looked eye to eye. Soul to soul.

"May I ask how you're planning to kill me this time?" Kisa asked, the faint light from the lampshade shining against his eyes. It made them look like they were on fire.

Yukina's gaze at Kisa grew more intense. "Something painful."

Kisa couldn't help but smile. Memorizing every detail he could from Yukina. The perfect hair, the eyes that seemed to see through his core, the soft lips who used to say sweet things, the hands that touched him gently, the voice that called out to him. And he wouldn't deny it. He was in love as well with the Yukina who hated him. He had accepted everything about the prince. From thousands of years ago to their present.

"If I would have the chance to choose who I'd be..." Kisa began, looking at the floor. "I still wanted to be Kisa Shouta. And I'd still probably fall in love with you, whatever the circumstances are."

Smirking, Yukina crossed his longs legs. "Do you think your drama would change my mind?"

Kisa lifted his gaze to look at Yukina's cold eyes. His lips smiled, his eyes didn't. "No...I wasn't thinking that way."

Silence filled the few distance between the two. The clock's hand sounded stronger, and Kisa could hear his heart against his ribs about to jump out of it any time. He had made the decision. But he was afraid with it himself. He didn't know what would happen exactly.

"Can I spend sometime on my own? After all, I am going to die. I'll just...pray."

Yukina's eyes narrowed as if he was reading Kisa.

"What are you planning?"

"Maybe you'll see, maybe not."

Staggering, Kisa left from where he was standing towards the living room and grabbed the box he was carrying before. He threw a final glance to the hallway being lit by the light coming from the open door of his room.

"Yukina...if ever you ran out of ideas, just push me off the roof top."

Kisa waited for an answer. But there was none.

Bowing his head as he trudged towards the door, Kisa murmured something, only the door as the witness.

"Kou...being reborn and you waiting for thousands of years has erased the important memories that turned this entire thing into a grave misunderstanding. Probably when you remember, you'd be able to forgive yourself. And forgive me as well for breaking now the promise we made on the first time I died after the curse. This should end now."

* * *

The cold breeze caressed Kisa's puffy cheeks. The strands of his hair dancing with the wind. And his eyes wandered towards the sky. He was waiting for the sunrise.

He wanted to see it so suddenly. Maybe because he was taking for granted these kind of things when he still didn't know that he would come up with such a stupid idea.

The roof top of Kisa's apartment building was with no soul except him. The white blankets that some tenant forgot to take in the night before fluttered with the wind. It sounded like it was singing.

"I didn't know I could see much of Tokyo from up here," Kisa whispered looking down at the box he was clutching against his chest.

With one hand, Kisa rubbed his eyes. "This is inevitable. This is inevitable..."

And with his other hand, he took something from his pocket. A lighter.

* * *

_"Ah-I just thought, you're still a part of the painting I bought, so I at least have to take care of you..." _  
_"I'm sorry, for some reason my eyes won't stop...Ah~why am I crying like this for onions!"_

His face buried on both of his hands, Yukina raised his eyes towards the lampshade. "Shit...I shouldn't be...shouldn't be feeling and remembering these stupid things."

He sighed and massaged his temples. "What would happen if I don't kill him?"

The thought shocked him. He knew the answer but the mere fact that he even thought about not killing was unnerving.

He was able to come back many times because of the curse he made himself. He'd kill Kisa over and over and over again with the man being reborn over and over again. If he didn't, he, the maker of the curse would disappear finally for eternity. And Kisa would die a normal human death, and like the rest, would never be reborn again.

"Am I doing the killing, just because...just because of hatred...just because I don't want to disappear?"

The question stabbed him. He couldn't remember anymore.

* * *

Yukina felt himself gasp. He looked around. Something was burning. He couldn't smell it, he could sense it. And he knew very well that sensation. A sense of smell of the paint he used when he was still the prince painting out of hobby.

"He's burning the canvas? He's burning it to make me disappear and he could live a happy life?" Yukina stood from the bed, his anger seething in him. "Your true colors are showing now, huh you Shouta?" He muttered, his teeth clashing. "I should've known better this is your plan just like that time."

But if the canvas was burning, how come he wasn't?

A wave of something unexpainable poured over the prince standing frozen on the floor. His head slowly turning towards the place where Kisa had hung the canvas Yukina came from. And as if the prince's eyes couldn't believe it, the empty canvas was still hanging on the wall, safe and still.

_"Ne Kisa-san, have you ever betrayed someone in your life? Betrayed someone who loves you more than his life?"_

_Without averting his eyes, Kisa didn't have to think about the answer. "I would never betray someone. Especially someone who cares for me. I think I would rather die than do that."_

For the first time in a very very long time, Yukina's head was blank as he ran towards the roof top where Kisa was.

* * *

The dawn was breaking. The sky a flaming orange. Like the flames that surrounded Kisa Shouta facing the world below him.

Panting, Yukina dragged his feet towards Kisa who had his eyes closed. His left hand holding the canvas where he was painted. It was his part of the canvas Kisa was trying to burn into ashes.

"Shouta..."

The canvas was already halfway burned.

Kisa slowly opened his eyes. His lower body was nowhere to be seen. "There were thousands of yesterdays that passed us Yukina, and I wished that we could be together with the coming tomorrows, but for both of us to be finally be free from this never ending rope that binds us, one must give way. I am sure...deep inside you're tired as well."

If kisa burns Yukina's side of the canvas, the prince will fade away like he didn't exist and Kisa will finally be released from the curse of being reborn again and again. But if it was Kisa's side that burns, Yukina will be freed from his canvas and would be able to live a normal human life and die a normal human death. The curse finally ending.

They could've done this a long time ago. But they had made a promise. A promise forgotten by time. A promise replaced by anger. Initially it was the anger that started the curse. But the truth about the never ending cycle of being reborn and being killed was a promise between them. And Kisa happened to remember it first. And was breaking it.

"What the fuck are you saying? Do you think my anger will disappear by you doing this?!"

"Live a happy life Yuki...we're almost free from the curse now...I'm sorry for breaking our promise. We should've done this a long time ago. But we're both selfish. And our selfishness...turned us against each other...isn't it silly?"

"What promise?"

"If I don't do this this time, who knows what would be erased the next time we see each other? Time isn't a friend...it's our enemy Yukina."

"WHAT PROMISE?!"

Yukina started taking his steps forward. But he froze on the spot. Looking at the burning flames devouring Kisa, Yukina...saw something.

* * *

_The carriage was being pulled by two horses. Two directionless horses. Yukina could see himself and Kisa clinging to one another._

_"Promise me you won't forget. Okay?" Shouta in a silk Yukata whispered as he buried his face on Yukina's shoulders._

_"I'm sorry for putting this kind of curse on both of us."_

_"No. I'd be happy to die over and over again if that would mean that we would be able to be together even for just a short span of time. The curse of revenge turned for the better when you torn the canvas...we are inseparable now. Forever."_

_"But to kill you...I can't bear it."_

_"I will be reborn anyway...that's fine. This is a chance given to us by the heavens...a never ending love."_

_The two looked before them. They held hands tightly as they watched their carriage nearing a cliff hearing the raging rivers below._

_"This is the first death. Kou...see you soon..."_

_"Shouta...sorry. See you soon."_

_As the carriage crashed into the black river drowning and killing Kisa, Yukina disappeared, his spirit being locked up back into the canvas he was in._

The waiting for the reborn-ed Kisa, killing him, Yukina realized was something they both agreed. It was consensual. And time has caused the memories fade away and the real one take a different form. Seething hatred.

* * *

"Kisa...san..."

By the time Yukina remembered the real reason he was there, Kisa was almost gone.

"No...no...Damn it! No!"

"Live a normal life and die a normal death. I've been alive thousand times while you alone waited in that canvas. Not able to live a life. It must have been painful and sad. This time it's different."

The fire intensified.

"Whenever I want you, all I have to do is dream. And you'll be there. Good bye for real this time...Yukina."

The flames that devoured Kisa were as orange as the peeking sun. And when the sun was completely up, there was only the ashes of the canvas. Yukina tried to grab what was left of Kisa, his hand, but the man instead caught the wind.

"Kisa-san?! KISA-SAN?!"

Yukina turned around. His eyes circling the entire roof top. The wind blowing hard against him. Making him feel so cold, alone. He dashed at the fluttering white blankets, looking for his other half. But there was no one except him.

"KISA-SAN?!"

Yukina couldn't count how many times he circled the entire place knowing he wouldn't find the one he was looking for. Biting down on his lower lip, hand shaking, chest heaving, the prince glared at the sun.

"I DON'T WANT TO LIVE NORMALLY IF THIS IS HOW IT'S GONNA BE!?"

* * *

Chapter end notes:

ERMMM..lol..i wrote this for almost the whole day. all the free time i had i poured over this. i cried a little...BECAUSE I WAS LISTENING TO "NEVER STOP HOLDING YOUR HAND" the entire time I was writing this. Pfft..silly me.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. As you can see, there was no smut. i was not in the mood to write it. hahaha...

THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME. REVIEWS APPRECIATED^^

-shuusetsu

this is Kisa

this is Yukina...they're so far away now. pfftt...


	11. The New Canvas

Ah! I am sorry if updating this took forever! Ahaha..but it's not yet done! hahaha...thak you for your patience with this story^^

* * *

**The New Canvas**

* * *

No one. There was no one except him on that cold place. The sun was there. The sky, the buildings, him. But Kisa-san was not. Not anymore.

Yukina was determined to find Kisa-san. He had been a bastard. He had been a jerk. How could he forget such an important thing. And all he did the past thousand years was torment his lover. Funny how he only get to understand the value of someone when that someone wasn't there anymore. Funny to get all the important memories back at the last moment. Everything was just as messed up as his emotions in his chest.

The man ran back to the flat. Hopelessly praying that Kisa-san was there.

When he opened the door, it was as dark as he left it. Not a sign of life could be seen in it. Gazing at it with a pained expression, he felt his throat constrict, readying to utter the one name of the person who chose to disappeare to free them both.

"I don't want this..." Yukina muttered. "Kisa-san? Kisa-san?!"

He called out the name while opening all the doors in that flat. Every cabinet, every corner where there was a possibility of hiding. But there was no one.

Slowly, as if he was a melting candle, his legs gave out and found himself seated on the sofa. He felt something wet. Something hot on his face. And at the same time felt a searing pain inside his chest. "We're not done yet...are we?"

Staring into the darkness, Kisa's scent lingered in the atmosphere. Where he walked, Yukina could see. Where Kisa used to stand while answering the phone, he could see him there. He could see him practically everywhere. But when he reached out his hand to touch the man, his hand passes through and feels nothing but emptiness.

His eyes took a sharp glance at the cordless phone beside him. He just looked at it. He didn't want to answer it. Why would he answer a call when he knew not to explain where the owner of that flat was. Yukina just buried his face on his palms. Waiting for the ringing to die down. But it did not.

Cursing, Yukina grabbed the phone and just waited for the other line to speak.

And what he heard crushed him even more. Left him confused more than ever.

"What the heck Yukina? Why are you not answering the phone? We're in the middle of the cycle, just to remind you!"

Yukina had to stare at the phone. He didn't know what was going on.

Still off the loop, Yukina inhaled and talked to another human being other than Kisa for the second time. "Who's this?" come his husky voice.

The other line chuckled, but clearly sounded that he wasn't happy. "Your fucking Chief-Editor! Who else?!" The other line spat.

"What?"

"Yukina look. I know you're shocked about one of your authors being in a car accident. But let me just remind you that you've got other responsibilities here in Marukawa. So get your ass right here this instant!"

Deadtone.

The phone on his huge, soft hand slid and fell on the floor. His legs refused to get up, but he forced himself. Slowly, as if in denial, Yukina stood and walked towards the high school graduation of Kisa-san on the wall. His index finger traced the frame. Kisa-san's smiling face was not there anymore. It was his young face instead in that picture grinning.

Air had been knocked out in his chest. He just stared at it like it was the most stupid thing in the world. He couldn't take it. He wouldn't believe it. He wouldn't accept it.

He ran out the flat huffing. Sweat forming on his forehead, an old woman passed him.

"Oh...Yukina-san, aren't you late for work?"

"Huh?" Yukina looked at the woman with a funny expression. He didn't know this old woman. He didn't work in a manga editing company. Why?

Sensing that Yukina wasn't in a good mood, the woman walked away with an understanding face and disappeared into one of the rooms. On the other hand, Yukina who didn't have the least bit of understanding at what was going stood frozen at the front of Kisa-san's flat.

His shaking fingers touched the door plate. The name that was once "Kisa Shouta" was saying "Yukina Kou" instead.

And the realization hit him. He had taken over the life of Kisa Shouta. Kisa Shouta's very existence had been erased.

* * *

ID's, documents, papers. Everything that was once in the name of Kisa Shouta was now replaced by Yukina Kou. Even the people Kisa-san interacted before was looking at Yukina as if they were all friends. It seemed like in their memories, it had been Yukina Kou all along.

Yukina sat lifelessly around him. Papers, heaps and heaps of them before him. The place was a huge dump and yet, Kisa-san's chair was covered with a pink cover. His laptop's background, a refreshing picture of a huge tree. Wrappers of Kisa-san's favorite mochi hidden at the empty spaces between his table and the brunette's table Yukina had known to be Onodera Ritsu. Empty pens scattered inside the crazy drawer. And each time Yukina looks at them, he felt like he'd die.

He could picture the darkhaired man making faces as he was about to be caught in the middle of some work. How the man must have buried his face on doing reports. How Kisa must have sulked when the mangas he was editing didn't do so well. The more Yukina imagined, the more he missed Kisa.

And the more he missed him, the more Yukina felt lost.

A month has passed after Kisa Shouta disappeared from everything. Yukina who had no means to support himself, decided then to just go with the flow. Act like a manga editor. Act like a normal salary man. But each passing, second, minute and day was nothing but a chore. He couldn't go on like this forever. Where was Kisa-san? What happened to him? But his listless questions were left unanswered.

"Oi, Yukina-san," Onodera Ritsu muttered, waiving a white paper in front of the princely face. Ritsu seemed to have no problem facing the princely face unlike some who stammered and blushed everytime they have to look at Yukina. "Here's a fax for you. You're spacing out again."

Yukina took it with disinterest. Tossed it on the table and sighed as he watched the energetic brunette do his work. Yukina started wondering if Kisa-san had been close friends with this guy. Hurt for no reason, Yukina rested his head against the surface of Kisa-san's once table.

"Onodera, do you know a guy with a name Kisa Shouta?"

The brunette looked up from his work and eyed the lethargic guy. As if in deep thought, Ritsu closed his eyes. Yukina could hear a soft "mmmm" from the man beside him. Then with a serious expression, Ritsu looked at Yukina with his brows meeting in a small frown.

"Sorry, I don't know anyone named Kisa Shouta," Ritsu answered apologetically. "Oh but...it feels really familiar you know? It rings a bell, but when I feel like I am about to remember, it disappeares."

"I see..."

Lifeless, bored, guilty and lonely. Yukina Kou was in the pits of hell, that was how he would describe his situation. What's the purpose of me being here...if you're not here..."

* * *

Another cold and dry day was soon to end. The bustle of people going home from work was crazy. The waves of the sea of people was a depressing sight. Yukina started to wonder how his Kisa-san ever got used to this life. It felt like he was watching himself be tossed to every side. The world was a bland gray when you know your loved one wasn't there anymore. There wasn't even a corspe to mourn at.

Walking in the streets Kisa-san used to take, Yukina continued moving forwards with the red scarf wrapped around his neck and almost hiding half of his face. It was really cold. Or it must have been his inside surfacing.

He stopped and looked at the park he passed. It was where he confessed to Kisa. His fake confession where Kisa agreed to go out with him. Thinking back, Yukina thought that he wasted so much, so much opportunity to show who he really was. He wouldn't justify himself by saying he didn't know what he was doing. He knew it. It was just him who allowed himself to be eaten by anger, forgetting the important details of their set-up. If he hadn't forgotten, perhaps the two of them were still happy despite the killing and being reborn cycle. Too late to regret now. He was alone.

He hadn't notice it before. But when he stopped again to fix the scarf that was about to fall off his face, he noticed at the other side of the street an art shop. His feet moved on its own. Before he realized it, he was already inside the small place. It smelled of oil, wood and something rustic. How long has it been since he smelled these stuff neatly arranged before him? During his time, there was not so much color to choose from. But now, they were blinding him.

The empty canvases on the side of different sizes caught his attention. A clean canvas, compared to the dirty, yellowish canvas he used to stay in years after years afters years. Lifting a cold finger, he traced the rough surface. At the other side of the store, a set of brushes could be seen. Smallest to the largest. Finest to the thickest. He took one and brushed the tip to his knuckles. It was made from a highquality horse hair. The way it would touch to the canvas will surely be soft and smooth.

Suddenly Yukina as if stabbed whirled around the room. How long was it since the last time he painted? The last painting he ever did was already torn in half. The one empty of image, the one was already ashes.

"Ah! Welcome to our small store!" a young girl greeted. "Oh mister, you're lucky today, we have a sales promo. So anything you purchase, the amount will be cut in half."

The girl walked towards Yukina and looked at the man's hand as if scrutinizing it.

"You have a good grip Sir! I assume you're a real painter?"

Yukina forced a smile on his lips. "I was...a long time ago."

"Eh? No matter how long the last time you painted, you're still a painter. It's in the heart. That's what our sensei in art told us."

Yukina turned his gaze at the brushes. "I don't think I can ever paint anymore."

With her intent blue eyes, the girl looked at the brushes too. As if they were long time friends, they just allowed the silence float between them.

"You lost your inspiration?"

A bit surprised at the girl's keenness, Yukina weighed his words. "You could say that, I guess."

Slender fingers reached to one of the brushed and swayed it in the air as if painting in an imaginary canvas in front of her. "You know Sir, ever thought why 'art' sounds close to 'heart'?"

Yukina glanced down at the braided black hair.

"Because inspirations come from the heart, don't you agree? Everything starts from it. Heat for loving, tear for hurting, ear for listening, if you look at it deeper, the heart has it all and does that."

The guy smiled to himself.

"And you know why 'heart' is spelled as that?" the girl winked. "'He symbolizes man, a human being. Art, is basically what we do to express our feelings. As long as your heart is beating, art will never stop. You will never run out of inspiration."

Yukina just listened.

"If your inspiration disappeared, you can always look back here," she pointed the brush to her chest. "That's why it's 'inspiration'. It comes from the inside. Other wise it's outspiration right?"

This time Yukina smiled. The girl who seemed to be a college freshman spoke with liveliness and with conviction. She will go along way. The guy thought.

Yukina went out the shop with a canvas and paint and oil in a paper bag.

The girl received a pat on her shoulder from her father who owned the shop. "Dear God, your marketing skills is really good for business. Heart and art and inspiration..." the man praised grinning.

"Shut-up dad, he looked like he's about to cry while looking at the brushes. Everything I told him was just what I think about art, but if that cheered him up a little then my 'marketing' skills did really help."

* * *

It was the middle of the night. Yukina, sitting on a low stool. The empty canvas glaring at him. Glaring at it for hours.

He had been sitting in front of it for a long time. Everytime he tried to lift the brush against the canvas, his hand would just stop midair.

"What do you really want to do?"

Sighing, Yukina looked around the room. And as he came to realize that every picture that had Kisa-san's face was replaced by his, Yukina stared again at the canvas. He realized now that he was even already starting to forget the face of the man he fell in love with.

The reason he can't paint. The reason was...Kisa-san's image in his mind was already slowly being erased by some force Yukina didn't have any control of.

"No. Don't take away the last thing I have of him..." his fingers shook together with the brush. Kisa's face was a blur. If he didn't hurry up, Kisa-san will be gone. Completely gone in his mind. In his memory.

In reality, Yukina Kou should have ceased to exist when he died thousands of years ago. But the curse prevented it. And since Kisa broke the curse and Yukina took over, it was only natural that the living world should have never known Kisa. Including Yukina Kou.

The night was quiet. The night was cold. And there in the middle of the room was Yukina, tears falling from his red eyes. Painting the image of Kisa-san that he could still grasp.

* * *

"Wow! What's this Yukina-san?" Ritsu asked his colleague as he looked at one painting hanging on the wall.

"Oi, Onodera, don't be too nosy. Sit here," Takano Masamune ordered.

It was New Year's and the Emerald team decided to have a drinking spree. However since they didn't want to be caught up with the crowded pubs, crowded trains, crowded streets, they all decided to do it in the nearest place from Marukawa. Yukina Kou's.

The princely guy sat on the floor, starting to open the packs of junk food they bought from a convenience store. He then looked at the painting the brunette was pertaining to.

Hatori and Mino looked at it too.

"That painting looks so sad Yukina.. Why put on display something as depressing as that?" Mino asked then took a sip of his beer.

Yukina smiled at the painting. "Don't be rude Mino-san. It was I who painted that after all."

"Eh?" Ritsu exclaimed. "Really? We've been in Marukawa for so long, how come we don't know you know how to paint?"

"I don't know either," Yukina shrugged.

"Yukina, why is it that the person's back was facing us. Why not his face? I'm just curious," the brunette continued. "Is he someone you know? A friend?"

The man chewed on some crunchy chips while looking at the painting. "I don't know. I can't remember whose back is that. Honestly, I don't even know who's that. I think I know when I was painting it. But...I don't know..it already slipped in my brain. I can't seem to remember."

"Ha? Didn't you put a note at the back? Are you really the one who painted that?" Mino-san queried.

Annoyed, Yukina frowned. "I did paint that, my signature is even at the back. Aside from that there was a 'KS'. But I have no idea what 'KS' is."

"His initials maybe?" Takano joined.

"Maybe..." Yukina trailed off.

When everyone was already drunk and wasted and sprawled on the living room on the futons Yukina lent them, he remained awake. The dim light glinting in his eyes, he stared at the painting that he painted a year ago. He couldn't understand himself why each time he tried to remember who that guy in the painting was, it was as if there was a barrier allowing him to remember. So he left it at that. Deep inside him though, he had tried a million times imagining how the black hair, frail back and small frame would look in front. The guy was standing with his head raised up at a cherry blossom in bloom. Pink petals around him. Wearing a white polo shirt and black trousers. And the guy was holding a piece of cloth? Paper? He couldn't make it out.

Curious. Yukina, each time he looks at the painting, he feels a great sense of loss. But he couldn't bring himself to take the painting off the wall either. So it has been there for a year now.

"KS..." he whispered into the New Year's night. "Who are you?"

* * *

chapter end notes:

buwahah..thank you for reading^^

please share your thoughts and uhm...LOL..IT TOOK ME FOREVER TO UPDATE THIS HUH? HEHE

-shuusetsu


	12. Wish

i can't believe this...i really can't but here it is...the last chapter of their tale...i am very grateful to everyone who patiently waited for this. domo arigatou gozaimasu!

* * *

**【【【・****:*:Wish・****:*:】】】**

* * *

Being busy with all the things from work, Yukina had lost count of the time when to visit the shrine to thank the gods for the blessings he got for the previous year.

So checking his schedule, he pushed open his laptop and started scanning the things he listed to be done. He was already getting engrossed when Onodera Ritsu slumped tiredly on his swivel chair.

The trashy looking table full of books and papers and manuscripts didn't help to ease the brunette's tense expression.

"Ah mou...The new year holidays just ended...but I feel like being pressured by the Valentine's events already!"

Yukina chuckled at his friend while typing some things. Onodera Ritsu would always say how busy he was, but he was never complaining about the work load he was getting. If anything, it was even as if the brunette was in a hurry to prove something.

"Ah, Yukina-san...have you visited the shrines already? My family went together and it was so crowded. Lots of people..."

"Not yet..." Yukina answered with a little frown. He brushed his fingers on his hair that has already grown longer and shut his laptop. "I have finished mostly what I am supposed to do for this week so I am planning to go tomorrow. It's Sunday right?"

"I see..." Onodera mumbled. "Well it will be a breeze then I guess...because the shrine wouldn't be as crowded as when we visited it!"

The talk about the shrines and anything related to the new years ended and all the Marukawa employees started working back on their daily routine. Specially the Emerald team which seemed to be always in a mayhem.

Takano's screaming at rejected manuscripts, the endless ringing of the phones, the continues tapping of shoes in all directions seemed to be never ending. To sum it all up, Yukina Kou was starting to feel restless.

He was starting to ask what he was living for. There was just so many strange things that has no answers. He didn't even know what questions to ask to begin with. And although working together with everyone, hanging around with them, joking and passing the deadlines and meeting new people, somehow, inside Yukina's mind, he didn't fit in.

Like he should be somewhere else.

* * *

Humming to himself while he fixed his coat over his broad shoulders, Yukina roamed his eyes around the cold flat. It wasn't cold because of the winter season. It was more like, despite the warmth the heaters were providing him, the atmosphere around the place was empty. And each passing day, it was becoming heavier and heavier it was suffocating.

However, optimistic by heart, Yukina tried to hide all the unnecessary feelings in the depths of his heart's recesses and just continued tidying the flat a bit before going out. He had left some of his clean, unfolded clothes on the sofa so he decided to carry them back into his room before going out.

"I guess I'll fold them when I come back..." Yukina muttered after closing the door.

With hurried steps to catch the train, Yukina started walking his way out of his apartment, only to find himself stopping on his tracks.

"Huh?"

There was something strange that caught his vision that he was rendered motionless for a while. With slow movements, the princely man turned his head towards the one painting hanging by the walls. For the millionth time, Yukina's deep-honey hues stared at the small painting. A black haired man wearing a white polo. The small, delicate back facing him. And the black hair that seemed to dance with the invisible breeze as the man gazed up at the Sakura tree in full bloom.

Still the faceless man on the picture but there was something so different. If it was someone else, anyone who would see something like that would have run like crazy out of that room. But Yukina instead took a step forward. Closer so he could check whether his eyes were just playing tricks on him.

"What...has this been like this the entire time?" Yukina asked aloud.

He raised his hand and using his index finger, started to trace the cold surface of the glass that was protecting the painting.

"But I am sure..." Yukina frowned. "Ne, you who are in the painting...shouldn't you be totally looking up the tree's petals?" Yukina asked, his breathing a little heavy. "Then why do you look as if you're about to turn towards me?"

The man's back was still all that Yukina could see, however, the head was tilted somehow as if the man in the painting was trying to take a peek at what was behind him. And what was making Yukina's chest constrict was though the black hair was hiding most of the man's profile, there was the obvious hint of a smiling lips on that face.

The throbbing in his chest started to soar up high as if he had ran forever. And he felt himself tremble for some reason. It wasn't fear. As creepy as it may seem to an outsider...what Yukina was feeling at that moment was yearning. So much yearning that it hurt.

"Why can a painting make me feel like this...I don't understand..." with a trembling cold hand, Yukina touched his forehead for a couple of seconds to calm himself. He could feel himself on the verge of tears welling from nowhere. How could one cry without knowing why?! However, when he looked back at the painting, the man in the picture was again same as before. He was back again looking at the tree like everything was just Yukina's crazy imagination.

A sudden, frustrated chuckle escaped Yukina's lips. "You're having fun making a fool of me are you?" Yukina muttered shaking his head with a smile, passing everything he saw as just a meer hallucination.

And without looking back at the painting, Yukina closed the door behind him with a soft click.

* * *

He could hear the crunching sounds under his boots as he trudged his way towards the Meiji Shrine. It rarely snows in Tokyo heavily so having this thick snow crunching beneath him was a little 'new'. It also made many children go outside to play slides and snow ball fights and snowman on the park.

His cheeks flushed from the cold, Yukina tucked his white, wool scarf round his neck that covered almost half of his face. Doing that, Yukina experienced less staring than he would have if he didn't do that. Covering up like that, to the women, Yukina was just any other tall guy out there. And the man was thankful for at least being sure he'd have the serenity he needed during his time in the Shrine.

"So cold today...where do these kids get the energy to play like there's nothing?" Yukina thought when he caught too young boys running around throwing each other snow balls at their faces.

He continued walking with his mind focused with nothing in particular. His gaze was just towards the majestic shrine that was being covered by pure white snow. It looked like the huge, historical Shrine was even glowing mysteriously. Like the heavens were pouring blessing over it.

When the tall man, shivering despite his heavy clothing stopped on his tracks, he was already before the Shrine with all of its glory. The figure that has seen over many relevant happenings in the country's history was there intact despite the many years it has gone through.

"See...Yukari-chan...this Shrine has been standing here for thousand of years ago. So you can be sure that your prayers will be kept and heard by the gods..." an old voice suddenly broke the silence Yukina was having.

When Yukina turned at his side where it was coming from, he saw this old woman with a slight hunchback together with her cute, granddaughter that looked no more than four.

"Really Obaa-chan? Thousands? Even before you were born? It's older than you?" the girl asked totally interested.

The old woman smiled and patted the girl on the head. "Yeah, older than me...and I am sure this will still be standing even after you have had grandchildren of your own."

Jumping up and down, the girl smiled a big toothless grin at Yukina which made Yukina smile in return.

"Nii-chan...did you also come here to make a wish?"

Yukina bended lower with his hands on his knees. "Wish? Haha-no...just here to say thank you."

"Eh?" the girl's eyes widened and looked at her grandmother standing by her side. "But Nii-san...you know when the first snow hits the Shrine, grandma told me that the spirits of the Shrine's guardians are celebrating and are playing around the trees, that they would grant anyone's wish...granted they are from the heart! Ne, grandma?"

Yukina cocked his head to the side. If wishing was his business then he'd go the the prayer and wishes wall, write them on the small peace of wood and hang his desires there.

The old woman laughed. "I did? Haha..right...that's true..." she looked troubled though.

The old woman signed for Yukina to come closer to her. After being close enough, on her toes, the old woman moved closer at Yukina's ears. "Just agree with her...I said those guardian things to stop her crying from a while ago..."

"Ah..." Yukina nodded in agreement and patted the girl on the head. "I'm sure whatever you wished for, they'd come true...you're such a good girl."

"That's why you should make your wish too!" the girl grinned. "Because my wish has been granted right away!"

The old woman and Yukina exchanged gazes.

"Eh, it's been granted already?" the old woman asked curious. "What did you wish for dear?"

The girl stepped up and held on to Yukina's hand. "I asked the guardians to let me see a prince. And there he came. Nii-san...you're a prince right?"

Laughing amused at the girl, Yukina kissed the girl's hand, riding along the girl's dream. Not knowing that in reality, if the past would be considered, he was indeed the last prince of the Yukina Clan. Of course, he wasn't aware of it anymore.

"So you make your wish too, okay? Like get a girlfriend or something!"

At the straightforwardness of the little girl, the grandmother bowed apologetically. "Sorry about that...we'll be going first. Thank you."

And as the two figures' distance grew from him, Yukina found himself thinking of when was the last time he ever made a wish. He seemed to be taking everything all around him as normal and what was supposed to happen that thinking about it, he didn't actually have anything he wanted. Except...feel whole again.

* * *

"You, Yukari-chan, you don't go around telling people to get a girlfriend...okay?" the old woman lectured as she dragged her grandchild towards a warmer place.

"Eh, Obaa-chan...still a prince needs his pair right?" Yukari-chan smiled, blushing not because of the cold.

"You really believe he's a prince?"

The girl nodded, exhaling a puff of warm breath before her. "I can't wait to tell the Obaa-chan in that huge house that I saw a prince once we come back to Okinawa!"

"The Sawara ancestral house? Yukari-chan, don't go troubling people there...it's bad..."

"No...Sawara Baa-chan is kind and always tells me stories. Her grandchild is a mangaka working here in Tokyo. I told her I want to be a mangaka too!"

Shaking her head in a sad smile, the old woman sighed. Her grandchild's drawing during art classes had been awful. Well, there would always be a room for improvement...but she doubt that Yukari's parents would allow the girl to go with an unstable job.

"Plus, you know...the Grandma in that house showed me pictures...and somehow...one of the guys there looked exactly like the Nii-san earlier. He's really a prince. I am sure...that's why my wish is granted. I am so happy!"

* * *

He drew a very deep breath and released the slowly out of his nose. Doing so made him feel relaxed. Like the tension in his chest and on his shoulder somehow eased.

After saying his thanks and bowing before the Shrine, Yukina started walking his way around. Just for the fun of it, he decided he'd walk around. Besides it's been a while since he had time for himself.

"Wish huh?"

He had been staring at the ground as he did his thinking when a sudden strong breeze enveloped him. His hair fluttering, his scarf flying to the direction the wind was going, the man raised his surprised face up at a lifeless tree. It was no doubt a Sakura Tree. Although it looked dead without its pretty petals that only blooms in Spring, Yukina was sure it was a Sakura Tree.

"Somehow resembled the one in the painting," he suddenly realized.

Smiling, Yukina looked around him. He realized that he'd been roaming far too off from the main park. It was only him and the cold wind touching his cheeks.

"If...if there are really guardians here..." Yukina mumbled, almost ashamed that he was actually doing what a little girl just said a while ago. "Please...show me what I am looking for..."

He had been feeling empty ever since the beginning. It felt like he was just tossed into something he wasn't even an original part of. Having the silence of the eerie wind coming in all directions made Yukina even realize how strong this 'sense of loss' was everytime he gazed at the painting back inside his flat.

Somehow he felt like the painting, no, it was more like the man in the painting, was such an important part of himself. But there was nothing he could remember about it. The sense of loss, the sense of being out of place, the feeling of missing someone he didn't know became a whirl of unexplained feelings close to what one would call unrequited love.

But that love was shapeless and directionless. Yukina didn't know where to direct that strong emotion. He was sure it has always been there. But there was no one to direct it to.

"Show me...what I am missing...please..."

Yukina closed his eyes shut, hoping for some enlightenment like how the movies portrayed everytime the lead characters experience revelations. However, when he opened his eyes, it was still the dead sakura tree and the cold breeze that was there. Nothing changed.

Yukina sighed at his stupidity and inserted his freezing hands inside his coat pockets. He sniffed surely not because of the cold and turned his back from the tree.

And that's when it happened.

The morning sun disappeared and the night crept in. At first he thought what was falling from the sky was snow. However, when he raised his hand to capture one of the falling piece, he realized it was a sakura petal. Pink, glowing in the darkness, and breathtakingly beautiful.

Abruptly the man turned back towards the dead tree behind him. His white scarf fell on the ground and his lips were in a silent gasp as he watched the dead tree just a while ago dead now beaming with sakura's in full bloom. The best he had ever seen.

As if in a trance, or in an unbelievable dream, Yukina whirled around. The empty space where endless scattered dead trees was present a while ago was replaced with a building that looked like the historical palaces he had seen from books and the news. He just didn't know that it was the same spot where the Yukina-clan's palace once stood.

"What's going on?" he whispered.

It was like watching a scene from a historical drama when a darkhaired man, dressed in glittering green robe appeared sitting on the floor of the open room of the palace that appeared out of nowhere.

In an instant, everything looked like he was in the backyard of some royalty's room.

"You..." Yukina stuttered, trying to take a closer look at the sad face looking down the sakura's on the ground. "You're the guy in the painting aren't you?!"

But the figure made no indications that he heard Yukina, even more, he looked like he was even oblivious to the man's presence.

"Hey? Can't you hear me?!" Yukina shouted.

Just when he was about to approach the delicate, looking man, another figure appeared. A tall man in gold robes with dragons engraved at the back of the man. His dark, blonde hair danced with the wind just like how Yukina's. The man in awe gulped. And he felt his arms getting creepy goosebumps when the man in gold robe turned to look at the sakura tree behind him.

"No way..." Yukina gasped. "It's me..."

_Getting depressed even more, the shorter guy stood and walked under the huge Sakura tree which was in full bloom. It was a mystical view, as the petals dance with the wind and the full moon shining on them. "It's very sad..."_

_Smiling at his lover's childishness, the guy with Yukina's face went to where the man in green robes was standing and embraced him from behind. "...to die for my Clan is my duty ever since I was born. But I want to let you know something..."_

_"For you, I would have given up my life. Now together I guard it dear. I was prepared to die until I met you. Now that we are together, I wish to always be by your side.*1_

_"Since when did you start reading poems from Hyakunin Isshu?"*2_

"Can someone pay attention to me? What on Earth..."

And as fast as the strange appearances of the dark haired guy and the guy that looked like him appeared, they dissolved in an instant. Only to be replaced by another...

_The carriage was being pulled by two horses. Two directionless horses. The man with Yukina's face could see himself and the smaller man clinging to one another._

_"Promise me you won't forget. Okay?" The guy with hair as black as the night sky in a silk Yukata whispered as he buried his face on Yukina-look alike's shoulders._

_"I'm sorry for putting this kind of curse on both of us."_

_"No. I'd be happy to die over and over again if that would mean that we would be able to be together even for just a short span of time. The curse of revenge turned for the better when you torn the canvas...we are inseparable now. Forever."_

_"But to kill you...I can't bear it."_

_"I will be reborn anyway...that's fine. This is a chance given to us by the heavens...a never ending love."_

_The two looked before them. They held hands tightly as they watched their carriage nearing a cliff hearing the raging rivers below._

_"This is the first death. Kou...see you soon..."_

_"Shouta...sorry. See you soon."_

_As the carriage crashed into the black river drowning and killing Kisa, Yukina disappeared, his spirit being locked up back into the canvas he was in._

Feeling his head about to explode, Yukina fell on his knees, his hand on his throbbing forehead. "What...Kou...it's me, isn't it? Shouta? Who's Shouta?"

And then as if the strange happenings wasn't enough, Yukina found himself on the roof top of his apartment at the break of dawn.

_"Kisa...san..."_

_By the time Yukina remembered the real reason he was there, Kisa was almost gone._

_"No...no...Damn it! No!"_

_"Live a normal life and die a normal death. I've been alive thousand times while you alone waited in that canvas. Not able to live a life. It must have been painful and sad. This time it's different."_

_The fire intensified._

_"Whenever I want you, all I have to do is dream. And you'll be there. Good bye for real this time...Yukina."_

_The flames that devoured Kisa were as orange as the peeking sun. And when the sun was completely up, there was only the ashes of the canvas. Yukina tried to grab what was left of Kisa, his hand, but the man instead caught the wind._

_"Kisa-san?! KISA-SAN?!"_

_Yukina turned around. His eyes circling the entire roof top. The wind blowing hard against him. Making him feel so cold, alone. He dashed at the fluttering white blankets, looking for his other half. But there was no one except him._

_"KISA-SAN?!"_

It was all too much of a shock that Yukina felt almost nothing. A devoid feeling. An emptiness wider than the heavens. He was numb, body and soul. And yet, there he was, his warm tears wetting the once again full of grass grounds. With the petals showering above his head, Yukina felt even more lost that enlightened.

After a year of living the life Kisa Shouta lived, Yukina Kou...finally remembered.

"It...it's all my fault...I...took over Kisa-san's existence..."

The silent tears flowing down his cheeks as he watched the pink petals fall on the ground hurt his eyes. He wanted to scream. He wanted to shout. But his mouth was so dry that when he wanted to cry out, there was nothing that came out.

It was more painful. The ache of not being able to cry out all the pain inside him was torture. For the silent sobs only intensified the longing and the pain that was there all this time.

At least if he could cry out, he could distract himself with his voice. But this silent cry only emphasized the grief inside. It made his pain more real, more painful...as if he could still hurt more than he was already feeling.

"How...could I forget...I am such a bastard..."

Like a lost child, unable to go back and unable to move on, Yukina began his voiceless cry.

"Kisa-san...I want to see you...I'm sorry...I should never have done all those things..."

The spots where Yukina's tears fell were so visible. And the sensations he was feeling everywhere felt more real than the reality waiting for him once this crazy ride ended.

"What I wish...what I really wish..."

He was pleading not just with his voice, but with every living cell in his body that whoever was showing him this would hear him. He had never believed of such omnimpotent presence but that moment, he felt like he couldn't do anything at all on his own, but leave it to the One who can.

The moment he was asked what his wish was before, he couldn't answer because of a big part of his very being has been removed forcefully from him. But when he regained all those memories, the painful, the hellish and the tormenting cycle of killing Kisa and being sealed in the canvas, he realized this one dream he had ever since the beginning. The dream he had even before the first betrayal was committed.

This dream that was never fullfilled because he let his heart be devoured by anger and hate.

With a mind full of all the things that happened from thousand years ago to the present, Yukina Kou had one wish.

"Please...Let me stay where Kisa-san is..." he whispered. It was only an indistinc sob to a bystander. But Yukina was repeating this over and over again.

"Let me be with the one that holds this...God..." pounding hard on his chest pertaining to his heart, Yukina cried harder, prayed fiercer and begged the longest he had ever done in his life.

Yukina had buried his face on his shaking palms. Wishing and wishing and wishing. He didn't care about the other sounds around him. He didn't care about the petals resting on his head. He didn't care about the sudden warm feeling in front of him.

"Yukina..."

It was crazy. Yukina was so familiar with that voice and yet, there he was afraid to look at the presence before him.

"Yuki..." the voice calmly called.

Shaking terribly, Yukina remained kneeling on the ground with his face on his hands. He was afraid that maybe after he gazed at that presence, the dream would end. Just like with any other kind of beautiful dream that leave people hanging.

"...!" Yukina gasped at the soft and warm hand that touched his. Slowly, carefully, whoever was there tugging his hands away from his face, it was being done lovingly.

"Yukina...it's me...look at me..."

The hands that were once was hiding his face were gone. However, Yukina won't raise his gaze. He was dead afraid. Dead scared. and most of all, dead shameful. He didn't know what face to show the one and only person he ever wanted to be with.

A soft sigh was what Yukina heard. The Yukina prince couldn't stop himself from shedding more tears he didn't care if it didn't look manyly at all. The hands that cupped his face were so warm and soft and soothing. Before Yukina knew it, the person before him had already moved his face so that they could look eye to eye.

The pair of dark grayish eyes, smiling and crying at the same time towards Yukina was the last straw that rendered him completely immobile.

There Yukina Kou, just stared with eyes still gleaming from tears towards the man in white long sleeves polo before him.

"Kisa...san..." Yukina whispered still unbelieving. "Shouta..."

The darkhaired man before him never looked as beautiful as this with the glowing sakura tree behind him. With the pink petals dancing and floating around him which only intensified the dark hair and the deep eyes of his beloved.

Kisa never said another word. Instead, the man had pulled Yukina into a hug. A scent so good wafted around Yukina as he found his face resting on Kisa-san's shoulders. The hands that were encircled around him were calming and gentle.

It was a feeling that Yukina had never had before. A sense of release filled him. And utter joy as he rested his tired body against the warmth before him.

Kisa kissed the top of Yukina's head whispering the words Yukina had been waiting for.

"Kou...welcome home..."

* * *

"Are you sure that Yukina Kou is not just on a vacation or something?" a police officer asked with one of his brows raised.

The other police officers were looking around the flat, checking something that could possibly be 'not right'.

"We are sure!" Onodera Ritsu replied obviously flustered. "He...he mentioned about going to the Shrine this last Sunday. And then he didn't come to work on Monday. Tuesday came and we still haven't heard anything from him. So today we filed a missing person report..."

Mino, and Hatori were looking around as well as if following the two other officers on blue. Takano on the other hand remained standing beside Ritsu, his hand at the back of the brunette for moral support.

"Okay...calm down...do you know any relative of Yukina-san we can call?"

"No...there's none!"

"Okay...a debt perhaps he's running away from?"

"Look," Takano started obviously getting pissed by now. "I am that guy's superior and I can testify that he's not that kind of man."

"Alright..." the officer sighed. "I didn't mean that as an offense."

Closing his notepad, the man tipped his hat and called out for his other colleagues. "Thank you for your cooperation. We'll inform you of the findings once we get any."

Onodera walked the officers towards the door and shut it carefully behind him.

"I don't believe this...Yukina would never disappear without informing us..." Mino-muttered, tracing his hand on to the cold sofa in the middle of Yukina's flat.

The officers was given the permission by the owner's building to tear the lock of the apartment since it was for emergency purposes. Onodera and the rest of the Emerald team was afraid Yukina might have slipped on the bathroom and hit his head and died from bleeding. But as what the officers saw, there was no sign of forced entry in the flat, and even if Yukina went out the country, they noticed that the documents needed were still there in his drawer. Everything seemed fine in that room.

So the question where Yukina Kou had gone to was a big mystery.

Onodera found himself staring at the painting they were talking about that new year's night. Heart beating wildly, he took hurried steps towards it and stood before the painting.

"What is this..."

Green eyes narrowing, with his chest constricting from nervousness and the air of strangeness, Ritsu continued staring.

The painting was as the same as before. The darkhaired man with his back facing the front, wearing a white polo still gazing up at the Sakura tree in full bloom. The only difference was he wasn't alone anymore.

Dark blonde and taller than the other, they were both looking up the tree hand in hand.

Ritsu almost felt faint. For the new guy in the painting was wearing a white scarf exactly the same with the scarf Ritsu gave Yukina on Christmas.

"Let's go home?" Hatori and Mino asked, starting to gather their belongings.

The two went out first and Takano and Ritsu was left alone in that cold flat.

"What's wrong?" Takano asked. "He'll be fine. He's the type of guy that will always be able to get out of trouble..."

Ritsu smiled faintly. He threw one last glance at the painting and started walking away. He slid his hand around Takano's arm and sighed.

"You worry too much, Ritsu..." Takano whispered, planting a light kiss on the brunette's head.

Ritsu's grip on Takano's arm grew tighter. "I just wish, that wherever Yukina is, he's being happy."

"He is happy. I am sure," Takano replied.

* * *

**THE END**

* * *

**chapter end notes:**

thank you for joining me in their ride. now that it's done...i realized that i really do love the erotica couple more than i thought.

*bows* another tale has ended. i really treat this as an accomplishment. because before when i was younger, i can't finish a story. i am really happy. thanks and more thanks..*sniff*

**-shuusetsu**


End file.
